No ordinary love
by draiochta
Summary: Kim is the typical girl next door, shy and sweet. When her long time crush Jared suddenly notices her how will she react?
1. Chapter 1

**New Jared/Kim story! I had to do it even though I didn`t finish my last one. For those of you who read I really hope you like it. Feel free to comment and ask me any questions on where I`m going with this. Thanks and happy reading.**

" Well this was going to be boring."Vanessa Bell muttered to Jolene Egan. Why did Vanessa always have to bitch about everything? Why was I stuck sitting behind her? At least I was sitting beside Jared though. Despite my long standing crush/infatuation with him he was beginning to annoy me. Just let it go Kimi, if it hasn`t happened by now it`s never going to happen. You have been sitting beside him for like forever and he hasn`t even turned your way.

Opening my notebook I wrote the day and date. October 26th. Monday. At least Saturday is Halloween. Something fun to look forward to I suppose. Beats studying for a change anyhow.

A movement to my right caught my attention. Oh great. Looks like Jared and Vanessa are exchanging notes again. Fucking gross. Urghh! Seriously Kimi? You are putting yourself in a bad mood over this? You don`t even know him. He has a girlfriend over in Forks and he`s flirting with another girl. Is that really the type of guy you want? No, it isn`t.

Mrs. Vernette rambled on about the French resistance and I couldn`t quit looking at Jared from the corner of my eye. What was it about him that attracted me so much? Was it the fact that he was so unattainable? That I was safe in my little fantasies involving me and him? That one day he would notice that I`m the girl for him? There was no denying that he was good looking. He was gorgeous. But my attraction went beyond that. To where I don`t know. The guy was the most arrogant person ever to come out of La Push.

But he had changed over the Summer. When I first saw him back in school in the beginning of September I nearly had a heart attack. He had gone from the long haired, lanky teenager that I crushed on to six foot something he-man of hotness. That`s when my feelings for him took on a whole new level of strange. Before it was just a harmless little school girl crush. Something I used to giggle about with my girlfriends. Now...it was like...I spotted Jared smiling seductively at Vanessa. I really need to get over this. Just a couple of more months Kimi. Then you`ll be free of this Jared obsession. You`ll meet a guy. You`ll be happy. You`ll be in New York hopefully. I smiled at this thought. Keep your eye on the prize Kimi. You`re going to do great. You`re going to be a success.

With great difficulty I tore my mind away from Jared and Vanessa and concentrated on taking perfect notes. No way he`s fucking up my academic performance. Let him run after that moron. I`ll find a guy who loves me for my brains and not only for my looks. Damn...why did I always feel like I was on fire sitting next to Jared? Why did he always wear a t-shirt when it was freezing out? What a freak.

When class was over I sat for a while gathering my things and waiting for the others to go so I could speak to Mrs. Vernette. Since school was over as well my classmates all wanted to make a speedy exit. I was in no such hurry. I had half an hour to kill before French Club. I forced myself not to watch Jared and Vanessa leave the classroom. I just stared at my book until I knew they were gone.

"Kimimela. Do you need something?"Mrs. Vernette asked kindly. I was so her favorite student. I gathered up my books and approached her desk.

"Yeah I...I was wondering if I could possibly change seats?"I turned red as I asked her this. She smiled knowingly at me.

"Do you have a problem sitting beside Mr. Cameron?"She phrased the question in such a way that I didn`t know how to answer it.

"No...it`s just...I`m having trouble concentrating...sitting there."God I sound so lame right now. Mrs. Vernette looked at me sternly and checked her watch.

"That is not a good enough reason Kim. You are staying where you are. If your grades start to slump, which I highly doubt they will, then you can change seats. Until then, I`m afraid you are stuck where you are."

"Okay...thanks anyway Mrs. Vernette." I said before I left the classroom. Looks like I won`t be getting moved anytime soon. I just have to grin and bear it. Oh great...

Rounding the corner into the deserted corridor I saw Jared follow Vanessa into one of the empty classrooms. Why the hell was this shit hurting me now? It didn`t before! Not like this. With the feeling like my stomach was going to fall out of my ass I made my way to the French language room. I sure as hell didn`t feel like it today but if it was all for the greater good then I suppose I have to. It was fun sometimes. But nowadays my mind seemed to be in only one place...focused on one person in particular.

* * *

"Kim! Please don`t go as a lego person.! This is our last Halloween in High School."My friend Saffron whined at me as we were leaving French Club. I knew what she was getting at.

"Listen. Dress up in Lingerie and call it a costume. Just don`t expect me to do the same." I shifted my bag on my shoulder and searched my pocket for my Ipod.

"Maybe you`ll catch who know who`s eye. It`s worth a shot!"

"Saff! Even if I show up there naked I doubt that he`ll even notice. Just because you`re too chicken to wear stockings and a suspender belt on your own then..."

"Hey shut up! So...will you?"I rolled my eyes. "Please please please!"

"Fine...Fine! Nothing too thrashy though. If my dad found out he`ll go ape shit."

"Yes! You won`t regret this. Maybe you`ll catch another guys eye instead."

"Let`s not get too ahead of ourselves. It`s just a party. So...how`s you and Matt?"Saffron blushed a little.

"Good. Great actually. I`m thinking about...doing it...with him."She giggled which made me giggle. Her and Matt had been going out for the past six months now. I was surprised that they had lasted this long without doing it.

"Oh man. You`re so lucky. I really want to lose my virginity. I don`t want to go off to college a virgin."

"So what if you do! It`s not like you`re planning to go nuts sex wise. I know you Kim. You value ourself too much."

"You`re right. But still...I just want to know what it feels like."I wanted to know how it felt like with Jared. Having his strong arms wrapped around me... save the fantasies for when you`re in bed Kimi. The school corridor is so not the place for this.

"You will. Just wait. The perfect guy is just around the corner." Only someone who was part of a couple could have such confidence saying that.

Thanks Saff. Let`s hope that`s true."

* * *

Listening to Blind Melon I walked home. I lived about twenty minutes away from the school so taking my car when I can walk is a bit stupid. Plus I needed the exercise. My ballet teacher said I was getting a bit chubby around the thighs. I knew I wasn`t going to be a ballerina but still...I was big into my physical appearance nowadays. If that was vain of me then so be it. I wasn`t one of those naturally pretty girls. I had to make the most of what was given to me. I had even been on a few dates since I started taking an interest in myself almost a year now.

What was this nagging feeling? It was driving me nuts! It`s like that feeling you get when you need something...or need to do something...or like when you have forgotten something...What the hell? I have all my school books I need for tonight`s homework. What else could it be? Deciding that my music was distracting me I took out my ear phones and stored my Ipod away in my pocket. Then I heard the howling. What in the world? What was with these wolves the past couple of months? They seemed to have gone crazy. Or just more vocal.

And...hold up there one moment! Is that Jared? Sure enough, it is him. He was making a dash towards the woods with a frantic look on his face. Why is he taking his shirt off? What the fuck? I watched as his taunt red-brown back as he disappeared from view. That was...unusual to say the least. What the hell was he doing? I heard another wolf add it`s howl to the rest and decided I better head home. No point in looking into some trees hoping to see Jared again. Mom will be wondering where I am and I had to tutor my brother Josh on his Quileute. What a busy schedule I had huh? Boring I know but when I get to college all of that will change. No more hanging around waiting for things to change. I could be who I want to be. Whatever type of person. Nobody will know me as shy, boring Kim. Less than a year...less than a year and then I can start my adventure.

* * *

Okay so I promised myself time and time again that I wouldn`t do this but...urgh! Why do I torture myself? Yes...I was facebook stalking Jared and his girlfriend. So sue me! Gosh...why am I so pathetic?

I was too chicken shit to friend Jared and since his profile was private I had to settle for looking at his girlfriends profile so see his pictures. Miss Forks I liked to call her. Her name was Devon Kendal and she was a perfect mix of Mischa Barton and Kate Bosworth. Tall, blonde and beautiful. No wonder Jared went for her. Looking through her pictures of him I felt a knot of pain in the pit of my stomach. I must seriously be insane to feel this way! Seriously! Oh man...in this one they are kissing...

Disgusted with myself I shut my laptop and paced my room. I really have to stop doing that. It was getting beyond creepy. What if they ever found out I was looking at their photos? Oh man that would be embarrassing! They can`t know though. So I`m safe. I wish I had more homework to distract myself.

**Remember to review and criticize. It only takes a minute. Besos.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the reviews from chapter one. You guys are great. Anyway here`s chapter two. Hope you all like. **

"You sure you don`t want me to pick you up from school Shy mouse?"Dad asked me as he pulled over. It was pouring buckets outside and he graciously gave me a five minute lift to school.

"Nah dad. I have my umbrella. I`ll be fine. It`s not like I never got caught in the rain before. See you later dad."I gave him a kiss on the cheek and got out.

"See you later Kimi."He called after me. I shut the door and ran inside. Just a couple of seconds outside and already I`m soaked.

With squeaking shoes I went to the girls bathrooms to freshen up. Under the harsh florescent lights I decided I didn`t look too bad. Just the same. Ordinary. I brushed my hair. It would dry out soon enough. I think it might be time for a hair cut. It hung to my waist now like a black curtain. Kinda boring. Maybe I should die it brown or something? Get bangs? Just as I was putting on some lip balm Vanessa and Jolene burst through the bathroom doors giggling. I jumped a little but decided to just ignore them. Jolene eyeballed me and rolled her eyes. Vanessa looked a bit shocked. Like she hadn`t expected anyone else to be in the bathroom. She gave me a sly look then turned to Jolene.

"So, me and Jared fucked last night. Amazing. His cock...huge!"Vanessa said with a squeal of laughter. I swallowed a hard lump in my throat and fled of the bathroom. Sick! Oh Jared...why did you have to sleep with her? Why do you have to be a cheat? Why does it feel like he`s cheated on me? The jealously I was feeling now...the sadness. It was unreal! If he knew what I was thinking..how I thought of him, he would get a restraining order on me. I spotted him in the hallway talking to Paul Lahote. They were talking seriously about something. Paul looked like he was getting agitated about something and Jared just kept on shaking his head at him. I could see him mouthing the word 'no'over and over again.

I went and opened my locker and busied myself, all the while casting the two glances whenever I could. Why did he have to look so hot when he was being all serious? I knew part of his attraction was that he was intelligent. Maybe even smarter than me and my friends. Difference was that he didn`t exactly hide it but was talented enough to caste off the whole nerd label and run with the cool kids. Seemed like he had it all. Looks and smarts. The guy could go anywhere in life. No question about that.

One thing I couldn`t help but do when we were in class together was sometimes sneak a peak at him working. How his eyebrows would knit together when he was contemplating a particular problem would make me feel...I dunno. It was like I knew all his expressions. He probably wasn`t the easiest person to read. Nowadays anyway. He had changed so much since the summer. Changed on every level. He was way more serious than he used to be. He had practically dumped all his old friends for Paul Lahote and Sam Uley. The two other he-man hotties. He had gone Quileute crazy by the sounds of it. More into land protection and traditions and whatnot. Which would be a good thing because so am I. I`m a traditional girl at heart. At least I try to be. I have a long way to go before I can say I have reconnected with and fully understood my native self. A lot more soul searching is what I need to do.

"Morning Kim."My friend Mark greeted me. He must be one of the sweetest guys ever. He was like a native Leonard from Big Bang Theory.

"Morning Mark. What`s new?"I asked, getting my glasses from my school bag along with my folder and pencil case.

"Nothing much...so...you catch the new episode of Boardwalk empire?"He was a big B-walk fan just like me.

"Yeah! Amazing as usual!"I gushed.

"We should...you know like...get together and watch it...sometime."Mark stuttered. Oh...

"Yeah...that would be nice...a break from watching it on my own.."I forced out an awkward laugh. Go for it Kimi. You know Mark likes you. Live for the now as my Grannie says. I saw Mark`s face light up. He adjusted his glasses and smiled widely.

"Cool...kinda sucks that we have to wait till next week for the next episode."

"It does."I was a bit relieved to be honest. I cast Jared another glance. Why can`t it be him who was asking me to watch Boardwalk Empire? Why was I standing here bitching when a lovely sweet guy was actually taking an interest in me? "Do you want to...catch a movie maybe?"I asked him.

"Yeah! I mean...yeah! This Friday?"He asked happily. I blushed deeply and couldn`t keep a wide smile from spreading across my face.

"That would be great."The bell rang. "Think about what you want to see."I smiled at him again and went to math. Oh man... I have a date...with one of my best friends. That`s not weird is it? Why does it feel wrong though? At least I don`t sit near Jared during math. He sat behind me which made it easy for me not to dare look at him for fear of being too noticeable. Going into the classroom I saw that he was already seated. He looked like he was checking his homework. Just looking at him just made me feel so happy. I sat down and looked down at my notebook. Mrs. Kimimela Carrillo-Cameron. I wrote it in miniscule letters. Maybe...someday...

I knew that we had so much in common. I knew that if he gave me the chance that I could make him happy. Then why am I so invisible to him? We have gone to the same school all our lives. Our parents are friends. We used to go to each others birthday parties. And still I don`t exist. It was like when we hit middle school I disappeared. Over shadowed by girls who actually knew how to talk to boys. Girls who knew how to play the game. Girls who were savvy about those types of things. I knew that if I wanted to catch his attention that I needed to have more confidence. I needed to speak up. There was no point at looking at him from afar wishing he would magically see into my soul and fall in love with what he saw there. Life doesn`t work that way.

So Math passed with no incident. Chemistry passed with nothing interesting happening. Biology passed and again...nothing happened. Lunch...flirted with Mark. And of course I felt horrible afterwards. I was feeling so conflicted. Of course I wanted to be happy. I wanted to have fun. I wanted a friggin` boyfriend! I`m seventeen and I`ve never had one. How pathetic is that? If I could find a little bit of happiness with Mark then why not? Why won`t I allow myself? Because I`m nuts that`s why. Because I`m in love with a guy who doesn`t even have the slightest idea of who I am let alone my feelings for him.

Just before history class I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair and quickly brushed my teeth. I decided that I was going to start a conversation with Jared. I was going to bite the bullet and just talk to him. I would smile, I would be charming. If he responds then great. If he doesn`t then I can move on. Perfect plan huh? Hearing the bell ring I quickly shoved my things back into my bag and then fast walked to history. I can do it. I can do it! I`ll just ask him about the homework. And then...I dunno. At least I would have talked to him!

Getting to History I saw that the class was almost full and that Jared was already seated. Trying to settle my nerves and my pounding heart I took my seat. Ah crap my palms are sweating. Shit, I think I need my inhaler. Trying to catch my breath I rummaged around my bag for it.

"You okay?"A deep voice asked me from my right. OH. MY. GOD! Say something Kimi!

"Yeah...yeah I`m okay...thanks..."I stuttered out. Why did I have to stutter? I didn`t even look at him! He must think I`m so rude now! Finally locating the inhaler I took a couple of shots. Ahh...that feels better. I could feel Jared`s eyes on me. Just look at him. Turn and look at him! SAY SOMETHING! Just as I was about to...

"Hey Jared."Vanessa turned around in her seat and fixed Jared with a sweet smile. Why couldn`t I have her confidence? My heart sank.

"Hey Vanessa."He replied. Why does his voice have to drip sex? Where is Mrs. Vernette when you need her.

"Settle down...facing forward kids. Open your books and pass your homework up front."Mrs. Vernette strode into the classroom, saving me from witnessing more Vanessa/Jared flirting. The class immediately fell silent and passed up their homework. I glanced at Jared for a couple of seconds. Why was he frowning?

"Okay. Today you are pairing up. I will give you a topic and together you will work on a project."

"When`s it due?"Jamie Kinsley asked.

"This day next week."Mrs. Vernette answered. "Okay, partner up with the person sitting next to you."

Oh...I get to partner with Jared. I get to be partners with Jared! I`m going to friggin` work with Jared! I bit my lip to stop from smiling too wide. Thank you Mrs. Vernette! Thank you thank you thank you! Please don`t have another asthma attack Kimi! Please don`t stutter again! Why wasn`t he moving over?

"Mrs. Vernette?"Jared raised his hand. She came over and stood beside him.

"What is it Jared?"She asked.

"Can I partner with Vanessa instead?"He asked quietly. Huh? What? Really? My heart feels like it`s actually bleeding. Am I really that repulsive? That insignificant?

"No Jared. You should be happy you are partnering up with Kim. She has the highest grade in the class."Mrs. Vernette said. Quit making me sound like a bigger nerd than I already am! Jared made a disgruntled noise and moved his desk noisily so it was next to mine. I could hear a couple of students sniggering. Vanessa turned around and gave me a smirk and batted her eyelashes at me.

Then I got angry. Who the fuck does this jackass think he is? How dare he embarrass me like that! That`s it! Jared fantasy shattered. How could I have even liked him in the first place. Stupid jerk! As soon as we got the assignment from Mrs. Vernette I took it and looked it over. Nothing too complicated.

"I`ll take Fascist Spain under Franco and Italy under Mussolini."I told Jared without even looking at him. I gave him the paper.

"So that leaves me with Hitler and Stalin. Thanks."He said sarcastically.

"I gave you the easy bit."I snapped. I opened my history book and took out my notes on my two subjects from the past class. This would need deeper research. Library it is then after school.

"You know we need to do this together right?"His deep voice stated. Like he was talking to a mentally ill patient.

"We don`t need to if you do your bit perfectly. I thought you were smart."Wow...where did this new bitchy Kim come from? This could have been my time to impress him but...

"I am smart. Thanks for noticing. We actually do need to do the last part together Kim."He said again. Softer this time.

"When we do our two parts then we can do the last part..if you want."I still had my eyes on my notes. I didn`t want to look at him. I don`t want him to know how much he hurt me. He let out a deep breath and got down to work. With his left hand he incessantly tapped his pen on the desk.

"Why wouldn`t I want to?"He asked me. I felt him looking at me again. And I could feel myself blush red. What do I say to that? I kept my eyes glued on my notes.

"Dunno.."I whispered. Ugh Kimi. Hearing him make a noise of disbelief I cursed myself. It would have been better if he had been paired with Vanessa. He was way out of my league when it comes down to it.

"Do you have any notes about Stalin`s Russia?"He asked. I hurried to locate them. Maybe he`d find them useful. Maybe they would impress him! I handed him my perfectly written notes wordlessly. "Thanks Kim." I nodded. Just talk to him!

We worked in silence. Every so often I got the sensation that Jared was looking at me. He would talk to me now and again, but, being me, I responded in monosyllables. I am such a loser! Then the bell rang. There you go Kimi. You got what you have always wanted and it wasn`t as great as you thought it was. You blew it.

"Thanks for the notes."Jared said as he got up and towered above me. He handed them to me...and then it happened...

Our fingers brushed...I felt like I had been electrocuted...I could actually feel sparks...then a fire ignite...starting from my fingers then through my whole body...

My eyes snapped up to his face. He was staring at his hand confused. Then he looked down at me...and his almost black eyes widened in shock...

I felt a crazy surge of emotions run through me...making me feel dizzy...making me feel ill...and I couldn`t stop looking at him...was this the first time I had ever looked into his eyes? They were beautiful...

"Kim..."He whispered my name and I swallowed. I saw his giant hand come slowly towards me. The touch of his skin against my cheek made me snap out of it. Jared Cameron is touching me! Jared Cameron is stroking my cheek! Oh my God oh my God oh my God!

I stood and backed away from him. What`s happening? Why was he doing that? I don`t understand!

"Kim..."He whispered again. Why was he looking at me like that? It made me feel totally exposed...naked...it was too unsettling...too unnerving...I need to get away...

I hastily gathered my things and looked for a way out. Vanessa and Jolene were staring at me like they wanted to kill me. Jared was just staring with his mouth hung open. I can`t breathe...

"Haven`t you guys heard the bell?"Mrs. Vernette said from her desk. I looked at her in desperation. She frowned at me and looked at Jared, who was still staring at me.

"Jared...can I talk to you please. Girls, you can all leave now."Mrs. Vernette ordered. I jumped at the chance to escape and ran out of the class. I had texted my dad earlier to get him to collect me so I was so lucky he was waiting for me outside. I was in no humor to walk home now anyway.

I got to my locker and got all my books that I needed for tonight.

"Hey Kim!"I heard Jared call from down the corridor. Holy crap. He practically ran up to me. He seemed a bit breathless. "Kim..."I don`t get why he keeps looking at me like that. Why was he doing that?

"H-h-hey Jared..."I stuttered yet again. I closed my locker and not knowing what else to do, turned to leave.

"Wait up! Where are you going?"Did he really just ask me that?

"H-h-home. My dad`s waiting for me outside."I looked up at him and allowed myself to look into his eyes. It felt like we were looking at each other for an eternity.

"Go out with me Kim...you are so beautiful..."He said in the huskiest voice ever that made me weak. My mouth went so dry...then reality hit.

"He has a girlfriend Kim. And we had sex last night. So what do you think he wants from you?"Vanessa said from behind Jared. Looking at her I saw that she looked angry...and hurt. What she said...it was true. I knew she wasn`t saying that stuff to be malicious.

"Get lost!"Jared growled at her. That was really mean! And scary. She looked like she was going to cry.

"Do you want a lift home Vanessa?"I asked her, feeling bad.

"No. I`d be careful if I were you Kim. He`s doesn`t give a shit about anyone but himself."Vanessa stalked off.

"Don`t believe her Kim. That`s not me. I`d never hurt you."He said in ernest. He cupped my cheek and moved in closer to me. Then I got shit scared. I backed away from him.

"I-I don`t k-know what you think...but you can`t just touch me like that..."He actually looked hurt, and then apologetic.

"I`m sorry...I didn`t mean..."

"I know what you meant. Just leave me be."

**Thanks for reading. Remember to review. It makes the story better you know. Besos.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three. Thanks again so so much for your reviews and for reading this. You are all great! **

**I am trying to be as real as possible with this. Plus, the way I imagine Kim and Jared is kinda hard to write but I`m doing my best. Plus not being a teenager or a native american is kind of a drawback as well. So all suggestions welcome! **

**Happy reading and remember to tell me what you think at the end of the chapter. **

"Just let me explain!" Jared begged, looking panicked. I backed away from him some more.

"Explain what? You don`t need to explain anything. I already understand." He looked at me strange.

"What do you understand?" He said quietly, glaring at some freshmen that were still at their lockers, watching us with interest. They cringed under his stare and hurried away.

"I`m not going t-to sleep with you. How could you even think I`ll go out with you when you have a girlfriend? Y-you can`t just joke around with me like that." I said quietly, my confidence was fading fast and I was beginning to feel really weird. Jared took another step closer to me.

"Starting from about ten minutes ago it`s over between me and Devon. Forget Vanessa as well Kim...you`re it for me." Was he really saying what he was saying? I looked anywhere but at him. Why was he lying like that? Just to get me to sleep with him.?I felt ill at this joke. How could he be this cruel? "I don`t want to sleep with you Kim...well I do.." He amended, giving me his dark eyed sexy stare which made me blush all over it felt. ".. but I want so much more from you than sex." He said softly down to me. I could feel his breath on my face as he dipped his head lower to look at me. I couldn`t talk...why are you still standing there Kimi? Fucking move already!

"Be mine Kim...be my girlfriend." He breathed into my hair. Was...was he smelling me?Oh God oh god oh god. My poor heart was really going to burst out of my chest. His warm hands came to my shoulders and slowly made their way up my neck...that felt so great...the trail of heat each finger left in its wake...He slowly tilted my face up towards his. Am I...am I crying? Holy shit! I don`t know what to do! Stop crying! I breathed in deep and smelt Jared`s almost woodsy smell. He wiped the tears from my cheeks. Calming me and at the same time freaking me out more with his sudden familiarity with me.

"Don`t be scared." He breathed at my lips. I`m going to have a panic attack! "I`ll never hurt you..."

Then his mouth lowered ever so slowly...ever so heartbreakingly perfectly down onto my own. With the feeling that my sense of reality was quickly turning to mush I kissed him back...this has to be the best feeling in the world. I can`t believe this is actually happening...Then he tried to put this tongue in my mouth.

"MMmmm mmnnoo...no!" I freed myself and pushed him away. I heard some kids sniggering from down the hall. What did I just do? Jared looked confused, his lips were parted and he was breathing hard.

"I`m sorry..." He said, trying to touch me again. He must be fucking nuts. Or he must think that I`m bloody stupid.

"Don`t..." I stepped out of his reach and...why couldn`t I stop looking at him? Why didn`t I want to move any farther away? It was like he rooted me to the spot with his eyes...or was it him? I felt my cell vibrate in my pocket. Dad...

"Let me explain Kim..." He begged urgently.

"My Dad`s waiting for me. If he sees you following me out then..." He would go all scary dad. Jared`s face changed...he suddenly looked so...expressionless? He nodded.

"I`ll see you tomorrow." He said with such confidence. Shit! I`m going to have to face him again. And whatever other humiliation he had planned for me.

"Kim!" My little brother called from the main entrance. Crap! I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Dad`s going nuts waiting outside."

"I`m coming!" I said as I turned away from Jared and ran up to the door. Taking Josh by the arm I dragged him out as well.

"Why were you talking to Brian`s brother?" Huh? Oh right. Josh was friends with Jared`s little brother Brian. I saw my Dad`s black pick up truck at the curb and frog marched Josh towards it. Pushing him in so he was in the middle I hopped in beside him. At least he could act as a buffer between me and my dad.

"Why Kim?" Josh questioned again. He could be really annoying for a nine year old.

"Why what?" I said distractedly as I spotted Jared standing at the entrance of the school watching me with this intense look on his face.

"Why were you kissing and talking to Jared?" He persisted.

"What?" My dad said, turning down the stereo.

"WHAT?" I screeched.

"In the hall. He was acting all gross with you."

"Shut up Josh! No he wasn`t!"

"Josh shut it! Kim, are you going out with Jared Cameron?" My dad asked.

"NO! We were just talking in the corridor about schoolwork." I lied.

"Nuh uh! He was touching her face and..." Before Josh could say anymore I elbowed him hard in the ribs. He cried in pain and of course I felt horribly guilty.

"STOP IT!" Dad yelled angrily. "Not another peep out of either of you got it?"

"Yes sir." Me and Josh mumbled together. My dad pulled out and started the journey home. As if they had a will of their own my eyes sought out Jared. He was still standing there...watching me...standing so still with an expression I found it difficult to read. He looked oddly determined. I held his eyes until my dad rounded a corner and he disappeared from view. I sighed and slumped back in the seat. Feeling suddenly over come with emotions I struggled to hold back the tears. Don`t Kimi! If you start to cry in the car you will never hear the end of it when you get home. Mom as well as Dad will be on your case to tell them what`s happening. And you know you can`t withstand a double interrogation from them. It`s impossible.

Taking deep breaths I steadied my nerves as much as I could.

Why did he have to do that? I still had butterflies in my stomach. My lips still tingled from his kiss...he kissed me. Jared Cameron kissed me! In the school corridor! For everyone to see! Kissed me! Kim! It was baffling.

When we got home I went straight to my room to try and make sense of everything that had happened. I came to the conclusion that Jared was crazy because it was too extreme to be a joke on his part. He was not that stupid to lead on the daughter of one of the most respected members of the tribal council. Our parents were friends. He would never shame his family like that. He wasn`t that type of person. He must have hit his head hard or something. But how does that explain how I feel? Or what I felt when our hands touched...when our eyes met...all those feelings inside of me for him that intensified to the point of making me want to pass out...what I saw in his eyes, that look that I had wanted for so long, it was scary as fuck finally getting it.

"Kimi?" Mom`s soft voice came from the other side of my bedroom door. I went over and let her in.

"Need me to help with the dinner now?" I asked her, knowing perfectly well that that was not her reason for wanting to talk.

"No." She closed the door behind her and sat down on my bed. "I want to know what happened with you and Jared Cameron today. Josh said the two of you were kissing."

"We weren`t! Please mom!" I begged.

"Did he kiss you then? Because you are blushing. What about that crush you have been harboring for him for years? It`s nothing to be ashamed of."

"He...he kissed me." I admitted in a mumble.

"And you are upset about this because?"

"Because he has a girlfriend mom! He also has slept with another girl at school just yesterday! And then...in history...first he didn`t want to work with me and then he looks at me and then acts all weird!" Mom looked mystified.

"Weird how?"

"Like...like staring and trying to touch me.."

"Touch you how?" She asked angrily.

"Not like that...touching my face."

"I don`t understand Kimi. Just...I know he is one of my best friends son`s but...a boy like that is not the boy for you." My face must have dropped for my mom`s expression softened when she looked at me again. "Kimi. You are beautiful. The most beautiful girl inside and out. You know how proud we are of you when people say what a good and wonderful young woman we`ve raised? Hum? You know how many mothers want you for their son`s?"

"Mom..stop!" I giggled.

"I won`t! What I meant about Jared. I know that he`s handsome. I know you look at him and see everything you could want in a man. But the game that he plays when it comes to girls...you don`t know the rules. I don`t want you to get hurt!"

"How do you know so much about him? Does Mrs. Cameron talk about him?"

"She had some calls from other girls moms complaining about Jared." Mom looked really uncomfortable telling me this.

"He didn`t...he didn`t get any of them pregnant...did he?" I felt so sick.

"Not that I know of." She said kindly. "I`m not going to tell your dad what you told me. But I want you to be careful around him Kimi. Maybe it`s my fault for wanting to shield you all your life. I don`t want to see you hurt. Jared could offer you the world to get into your panties." I nodded my head sadly.

"Come on Kimi. I`ll bake cookies tonight if you want. Oatmeal raisin." I forced a weak smile onto my face.

"I`d like that!" I didn`t want to eat anything.

Would he really do all that...say all that stuff...just to get me to sleep with him? Why didn`t it ring true? I`ve watched him enough over the years to know how he works when it comes to girls. Like with Vanessa...he zeroed in on her last week. Flirted with her and increased the intensity of the flirts and smiles and notes until she was in the palm of his hand. He was never obvious about these things. He didn`t rush these things. He was calculating about seduction.

That`s why I think he`s gone crazy. What he did...it was so out of character. At least I think it was. ARGGHH! Maybe it`s me that`s going crazy? What if I imagined everything? Yeah right...Josh saw everything.

I feel so on edge. So nervous. So...I feel like I`m feeling someone else`s emotions. Sure I could feel my own but...there was this tugging feeling in my stomach...telling me that something was wrong...and a fist wrapped around my heart...telling me of a deep sadness, a sadness different to my own.

Standing at my window I looked out into my back yard. I had a good view of the sea to the right and the woods to the left. A movement in the trees caught my attention. Seeing a flash of something huge and brown made me fretful. A bear wouldn`t venture out this far would it?

"Dad!" I yelled. "I think I saw a bear in the woods!" I ran out of my room and into the kitchen.

"A bear? Don`t be silly honey. Bears don`t come down here. It must have been an Elk or deer."

"But dad!" I whined. He grumbled and got up.

"I need to go back to the yard. I`ll see you at dinner tonight okay." He looked at my stricken face. "You were probably just seeing things." He pinched my cheek before he kissed my mom goodbye and left.

"Mom?" I asked her, looking out the window and into the woods some more.

"Humm?" She replied while flipping through her recipe book.

"Did...did you mean it...when you said that I was beautiful?" She turned around and smiled at me.

"How could you even doubt that? If course you are beautiful."

"Then why..." I couldn`t finish.

"Then why didn`t a certain boy pay any attention to me until now?" She finished for me.

"Yeah."

"It`s not because you are not beautiful Kimi. I don`t know the reason why men are stupid."

"But I`m not as beautiful as Vanessa Bell or Miss Forks." I muttered. I wasn`t beautiful at all and I knew it. I just barely scraped pretty.

"Miss Forks?" Mom sounded confused.

"Jared`s girlfriend Devon." Mom rolled her eyes.

"Kimi, Vanessa Bell has nothing on you. And Miss Forks or whatever, I bet she has nothing on you either." Mom reassured me. That`s what moms have to say right?

"Sure...so...call me when you want help with the dinner." I grabbed a banana and headed back to my bedroom to do my homework. On my way I spotted Josh in his room doing his homework.

"Hey squirt." I greeted him.

"I`m getting taller!" He whined. I came into his room and stood behind him and gave him a tight hug.

"Sorry I elbowed you in the car." I kissed the top of his silky black head.

"Gross Kim! Leave me alone!" I laughed and tussled his hair. "I mean it! MOM!"

"I`m going...I`m going!" I laughed again.

I went back to my room and sat on my brass day bed. Falling back on my pillows I sighed as I allowed myself to think about the kiss. Were my lips still tingling? Smiling I touched my finger tips to them. He kissed me. Oh my God he kissed me. It was the sweetest thing I had ever felt. Maybe I could still taste him on them? Excitement made my insides feel on fire. I got that lovely warm feeling in my private parts. Despite being terrified of Jared I still would love to have sex with him. To make love to him. I groaned with frustration as I remember the turn of events. I had made such a fool of myself. I had shown myself for what I was. A naive, scared, virginal little girl! He must think I`m such an idiot. He`s probably laughing at me! Well...that does it. I`m not going to school tomorrow. I`ll feign a migraine and stay at home. I`ll pamper myself or something stupid. I just needed time to figure this stuff out. Jared would have probably moved on to his next girl by then.

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come faster. Besos.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. I hope you all enjoy. And thanks so much for all your reviews. You guys are great for reading this. So here is the next installment. So, if anyone was wondering who I had in mind for what Kim looks like it would be Rachel Barnes, a model and for Jared, Eddie Spears, say him on day in Dreamcatcher and fell in love. **

**Anyways, happy reading and enjoy. Remember to tell me what you think in the form of a review. It makes the story so much better when I know where I`m going wrong. **

**I swear I could feel someone or something watching me. Isn`t it enough that my mom forced me to go to school today? I didn`t need to freak myself before I got to school to top it all off. I couldn`t sleep all night because of Jared. My night was spent replaying everything that happened yesterday in my mind. **

"**Why do you look scared?" Josh asked me about ten minutes into the walk to school. **

"**Do I?" I asked fearfully. **

"**Yeah...has it to do with Brian`s brother? Mom and dad were talking about him last night."**

"**What were they saying?" I asked curiously. **

"**That he`s no good for you or something." I rolled my eyes. According to mom and dad, nobody was good enough for me. Poor Josh...when he`s my age he`s gonna have it so much worse. **

"**Whatever. So...how`s school going? Do you want me to drive you and your friends somewhere this weekend?" I was in a generous mood this morning. Plus I still felt guilty about elbowing him yesterday. He though for a moment.**

"**I`ll ask my friends at school. Maybe bowling or laser tag?" **

"**Sure. Just tell me and I`ll take you wherever." I put my arm around his skinny shoulders. **

"**Thanks Kim!" He smiled a bright smile up at me.**

"**No probs." I beamed down at him. This kid had me wrapped around his little finger he was that cute. A little annoying yes but he was my only sibling and I had loved him from the minute I saw him after my mom gave birth. It was like God finally answered my prayer for a little brother. **

**A rustling in the bush behind us made me turn and look behind us. What was that? Pushing Josh far side of the path I took his hand and walked faster. What if it was some pervert coming to flash us or something gross? **

"**Kim! I don`t want to hold your hand! I`m too old!" He said furiously. **

"**Hey Kim!" A deep, husky voice made me stop in my tracks. Did I just yelp? Jared... Well, I suppose I have to face him sometime. Why not now? **

**Turning I saw him a couple of feet behind us. He seemed like he was trying to control a smile from spreading across his face. Say something Kimi! Don`t just stand there like a dumb idiot! Oh man...why does he have to look all hot? I was distracted from my staring by an incessant tugging on my coat sleeve.**

"**Kim! We are going to be late!" Josh whined. **

"**Yeah..." I said, still looking at Jared. My mouth was so dry. Say something to him! Funnily enough he didn`t look like he thought my strange behavior was any way out of the ordinary. He seemed content with my lack of greeting. Or maybe my crazy brain interpreted it that way. **

"**Can I walk with you guys?" Jared asked, a little unsure, taking a small step forward. **

"**No!" Josh said rudely. **

"**Josh!" I whispered angrily down at him. **

"**It`s fine...maybe some other time." Jared said, not letting my eyes leave his own. **

"**Y-you can walk with us...i-if you want." So much for not stuttering Kimi. I caste my eyes to the ground in embarrassment. Why am I such a loser?**

"**Why wouldn`t I want to? I asked if I could walk with you!" Jared said, so easily, with a happy laugh in his voice. I looked at him in astonishment. What was his game? He strode over to us and fixed me with his sex god smile. Not being able to return it I started to walk again, placing Josh in the middle. **

"**Did you have a nice evening?" Jared asked me. "Yesterday I mean...did you have...a nice evening?" What? Yeah Jared...I had a great evening. After you kissed me and put me in the strangest situation of my life I had a dapper evening! I didn`t toss and turn all night thinking about it! I didn`t beg my mother to let me off school today so I couldn`t see you! **

"**Yeah...it was okay `suppose." I replied, giving him a strange look. **

"**Why are you walking this way? Your house isn`t on this road." Josh asked Jared. That was true...Jared lived near the harbor. To get to where he met us he would have had to have passed the school already. **

"**I was dropping off something to Emily Young`s place." He said easily. Emily Young...as in Sam Uley`s fiance? **

"**Isn`t that the girl who stole Sam from Leah?" Josh asked me. Leah and Seth were our cousins on our mothers side. Uncle Harry was her brother. I nudged him to get him to shut up. **

"**What?" Josh whined. "It`s true!" Josh idolized Leah and Seth. So did I a bit. She was only a year older than me but she was like my mentor. She had always been cool and popular at school and she never ignored me. To say she had been broken up after Sam left her would be the understatement of the year. Poor girl was destroyed. She still is. Her and Emily had been so close...and now...**

"**You shouldn`t talk about people like that!" Jared said, annoyance in his voice, to Josh. "It`s rude."**

"**He`s just a kid!" I jumped to Josh`s defense, giving Jared a hard look. He looked confused and then ashamed. **

"**You`re right...sorry Kim. I didn`t mean to upset you." **

"**You didn`t." I mumbled, feeling weird. **

"**Can...can I talk to you...later?" Jared asked me seriously. Oh no...he probably wants to talk about yesterday. I turned my head away from him and looked across the road. "About yesterday?" He added. I cringed.**

"**There`s...nothing to talk about." I still didn`t look at him although I knew he was watching me. I put my hands in my coat pockets and snuggled more into my thick, woolen scarf. Why does he even want to talk about it? **

"**Nothing?" He asked in an uneven tone. "Do you really mean that?" **

**I looked at him then. He was staring straight ahead. His normally sensual mouth was set in a hard line and a muscle was twitching in his jaw. He looked at me again... his eyes were daring me to deny what I had felt the other day...my feelings for him... He stopped me by holding my arm firmly. I was shocked again by his sudden over familiarity. Doesn`t he know about personal space?**

"**Do you really mean that?" He asked me again, with anger in his voice. I was so scared. "Why won`t you..." He trailed off and made a frustrated noise. **

"**Let me go." I whispered, looking for Josh. He had spotted some of his friends and was running towards them. I looked at Jared then. "Please..." **

**He released me instantaneously but touched his fingers to mine for a moment. Again I felt the heat...not as intense as the first time but...it was still there. I had never felt so confused in my whole life. I had never felt so unsure. **

"**Kim...please let me.." He looked like he was trying to find the right words. "..if not explain but tell you something I think is important." **

"**Tell me then. Here." I quietly demanded of him. He shook his head. **

"**Here is so the wrong time and place for that." He smiled down at me. **

"**Yeah..so...I have to meet my friends before class..." I started to walk again, eager to leave the topic alone. Crap. Something inside of me told me he wouldn`t take the hint. I wanted him close to me but at the same time I was frightened of whatever it was that was going on. **

"**Wait up! We`re gonna talk right? After school?" His tone was more of a statement than a question. What gives him the right to act so confident? How does he know that I don`t have other things going on in my life.**

"**I have dance class after school." I said, walking faster. He matched my pace easily. **

"**I can take you. You dance? What?" Is he actually being sincere? **

"**Ballet. And my mom is driving me." **

"**I can take you today. After we can go someplace, you know. For something to eat, take a walk. Get to know each other better." He said happily. I stopped in my tracks and looked up into his smiling face in disbelief. His smile faltered. "What?" He asked. This time it was his turn to look and sound unsure. **

"**What?" I repeated, laughing a little. "What makes you think that I want to do any of that stuff?" I accused. Of course I wanted that stuff from him but not in this way. These things take time don`t they? It`s not like he can just decide these things and think that I`ll go along with him. **

"**Why wouldn`t you?" He accused back. **

"**Oh that`s it. What gives me the right to refuse Jared Cameron? Don`t think you can just jump into my bed because you`ve gone through almost every other girl in our grade. I`m not stupid!" I walked faster away from him. This is the ultimate humiliation. **

"**Hold up Kim! You`ve got it all wrong! I just want to take care of you! I want to be near you!"**

"**You have a girlfriend!" I all but shouted at him. "So don`t lie to me! You`ve been near me our whole lives Jared! Why all of a sudden now?" **

"**I broke up with Devon yesterday. And I`m not lying to you! I just...I saw you properly yesterday. I`m free Kim. You`re free. So why not?" He sounded like he was trying desperately to make light of the situation but even he knew he was falling miserably. **

"**I`m free? So I`m that unworthy that no other guy would want me? That`s not true Jared!" Well...I did have that date on Friday. Jared`s eyes narrowed. **

"**There`s another guy?" He asked, his voice oddly unemotional. I wasn`t sure but it looked like a spasm rocked his body for a couple of seconds. Backing away from him I started walking again. "Least you can do is tell me!" He called after me, not following me. Something inside said that to tell him would be dangerous. Just ignore him Kimi. **

**And so I walked away from him. Away from Jared. Away from the guy I had crushed on, had loved in my girlish, secretive way since forever. The rotten feeling took over me. This was all wrong! I shouldn`t be so cowardly! Just...should I have let him drive me to ballet class? Should I have let him take me out like he wanted? How many times over the years have I dreamt of him asking me out? Of having the perfect date with him? Of holding his hand...of kissing him...of having him tell people that I`m his girlfriend...**

**I turned back to see that he had disappeared. What the...? Looking around I saw no sign of him. Where the hell did he go? The only option was the forest. **

"**Jared?" I said stupidly. Where the fuck did he go? Is he for real? **

**Feeling utterly down I walked to school. I saw my little group of friends standing at the bike rails. Walking over to them I grew aware of the stares and whispering. What the...this has never happened to me before. **

"**That`s her!" I heard as I passed a group of juniors. Oh man...I could feel my cheeks flare up. Picking up the pace I went to my friends. They slowly turned around and looked at me. Saffron had the biggest smile on her face.**

"**Is it true?" She asked me excitedly. I couldn`t make eye contact with Mark. **

"**Is what true?" I mumbled to my shoes. **

"**What the whole school is talking about! The kiss!" She jumped on me and hugged me tightly, squealing with joy. I couldn`t help but smile. **

"**Saff! There`s nothing to talk about!" I nudged her playfully. Matt put his arms around her and pulled her away. **

"**You know what she gets like Kim. She won`t let it go you know." He laughed. Mark made a disgusted noise and stalked off. **

"**What`s his problem?" Saffron asked, pushing up her glasses. My other friend Yoli gave me an apologetic look. She must know. **

"**Nothing major." She said, giving me the lets go eyes. **

"**Gotta head. I`m sure the two of you are missing out on some valuable make out time so...see you in homeroom." I said to Saffron and Matt. **

"**I`m not letting this go!" Saffron called after me. **

"**So...you and Jared. Looks like it finally happened eh?" Yoli said, a hint of a smile playing on her mouth. I nodded. Yoli was more serious than Saffron...which made it easier to talk to her. **

"**Looks like it got around the school quick enough." **

"**It`s a small school. So..what happened? You know Vanessa is telling everyone how Jared broke her heart." I snorted and shook my head. That was so Vanessa. I couldn`t help but feel sorry for her though. **

"**It`s nothing to do with me what happened between them."**

"**I know but you know that`s not the way she`s going to tell it. Kim...we have been friends for years. You can tell me what happened you know." **

"**During history he looked at me and then started acting all...out of the ordinary." We stopped at a quiet-ish corner of the corridor. **

"**Out of the ordinary? You mean kissing you in the middle of the corridor?" **

"**Not just that! He was touching my face and telling me how much he wants to go out with me." Recounting the events verbally made it seem so stupid. I couldn`t really put into words what had happened. Yoli frowned at me. **

"**I know why you are freaked because of it. Jared doesn`t do things that way. Plus there`s the question of his girlfriend." Yoli pointed out. **

"**I know. He told me he broke up with her." **

"**Then good for you." **

"**Come on Yoli! I can`t go out with him!" **

"**Why not? You can! Just don`t be dumb about it."**

"**Dumb how?"**

"**Like having sex with him after the first date or some shit like that. You`ll know if he`s serious if he doesn`t force it. After a couple of dates you`ll see."**

"**I don`t know...he`ll go on one date with me and see what a moron I am."**

"**You`re not a moron! You`re just insecure. You`re not a monster Kim! You are totally cute!" Yoli reassured me. "If you were such a moron would Mark want to date you?" She added slyly. I was over come with guilt. **

"**Oh man...he must hate me now."**

"**Nah...he`s just angry. He`s had a hard on for you since he saw you in that tiny bikini last summer." **

**Getting that someone-is-watching-me feeling my eyes scanned the corridor and found Jared down the far end with Paul Lahote. It seemed like he was contemplating me. His dark eyes were soft as they locked my own to his, telling me that he was safe. Telling me to trust him. **

"**Kim? Did you hear what I just said?" Yoli asked me. Drawing me out of Jared`s intense stare. **

"**Huh?" I asked dumbly. Looking into Yoli`s dark brown eyes. Her eyes flickered in Jared`s direction and she smirked. **

"**Huh indeed. I`m telling you this. A boy doesn`t look at a girl like that if he doesn`t like her." **

"**Shut up!" I giggled at her. **

"**Don`t fucking tell me to shut up!" She laughed. "Take the chance! You`ve been in love with him for like forever! You used to write his name all the time in your notebooks. You still do!" I covered her mouth with my hand, suddenly fearful that someone would over hear that embarrassing information. I heard Paul`s loud donkey like laugh from down the hall. Fretfully I looked in their direction. Paul was red in the face laughing at me. Jared was staring at me open mouthed. That look...the biggest ever smile spread across his face as he started to walk towards me...oh sweet Jesus...**

"**He heard." I whispered to Yoli. **

"**Heard? Heard what?" She asked confused. **

"**He heard about his name in the notebook." I could only watch as he advanced towards me. "He heard you say that I love him..." **

"**How? He`s all the way down the hall." Yoli replied. He`s getting closer...he heard...I know he did...**

"**I gotta get out of here..." I turned and ran down the hall and towards homeroom. Shit shit shit! **

"**Kim!" I heard Jared yell after me. Oh no! Leave me alone already! I ran faster. Until I could feel my breathing start to become more labored. Damn it! **

**I sped into homeroom and into my seat. At least I didn`t sit anywhere near him in here. I was halfway through my second shot of my inhaler when Jared walked into the classroom and approached my desk. God only knows what a sweaty, breathless mess I looked like. He squeezed through the desks that surrounded me and crouched over my desk, placing his giant brown hands on the table top. Gazing up into his face I took another shot of my inhaler.**

"**Are you okay?" He asked, worried. I could hear the class become utterly silent. I nodded, unable to muster up any type of noise from my vocal cords. **

"**Are you sure?" He pressed. I could hear Saffron giggle from somewhere behind me. **

"**Y-yes." I whispered. Jared straightened up for a moment and produced a bottle of water from his back pack.**

"**For you. The first thing I`m giving you." He said, as he placed it in front of me.**

"**Who wants to bet the second thing is an STD?" Joey Parks shouted. The whole class erupted in laughter. I hung my head in embarrassment. "Who would have bet that Jared will be Kimimela`s first time?" He added, to more laughter. In a flash Jared was in Joey`s face, holding him up by his collar. He looked totally furious, he was even shaking. **

"**Fucking talk about Kim like that again and I`ll fucking kill you!" He growled into Joey`s petrified face. A couple of guys had gotten up, trying to drag Jared away from him. I rushed out of my chair and tugged on Jared`s arm. He`ll get into so much trouble if the teacher comes in and sees this. **

"**Jared...don`t...come on..." I begged. Jared slowly released his hold on Joey and made eye contact with me. He was breathing hard but at least that shaking had stopped. **

"**What`s going on in here?" Mr. Mendes shouted as he strode into the classroom. The other guys hurried back to their seats and Joey slumped down into his chair looking scared shitless. **

"**Kimimela, Jared, sit down now!" Mr. Mendes ordered. **

"**Hey Kim." So it seemed like Jared found me. I had tried all morning to avoid him after what had happened in homeroom. It must had been the most humiliating thing ever to have happened to me ever at this school but... I was so flattered and pleased that Jared had stood up for me like that. So now it was lunch time and I had sought refuge in the courtyard. But it seemed like it wasn`t isolated enough. I looked up and managed to put some semblance of a smile on my face. Jared returned it readily.**

"**Can I join you?" He asked. I nodded and he sat down beside me on the wooden bench. I picked up my tupper with my raw veggies and began to munch on a carrot stick. Not knowing what to say I offered the box to Jared. **

"**Thanks Kim." He took some celery and bell peppers. He offered me a giant sandwich, which contained about three inches of various sliced meats, wrapped in cellophane. I shook my head in decline. **

"**No thanks." I mumbled. **

"**You sure? It`s good." **

"**Yeah, I`m sure." **

"**I`m sorry about what happened today in homeroom. I`m so gonna kick Joey`s ass for what he said about you." **

"**Forget about it." I said. **

"**When it comes to you Kim...I won`t ever forget something like that." **

"**You don`t even know me." I said into my vegetables. I heard Jared exhale a deep breath. **

"**I know a lot about you Kim. Not enough I`ll admit but still...I know things." **

"**Jared?" **

"**Yes?"**

"**What...what do you...why are you doing this?" **

"**Doing what?"**

"**Why are you doing this to me? If this is just to sleep with me then..." **

"**I already told you that it`s not that. I want to be near you." **

"**You told me that you`ll tell me what`s going on." **

"**I did. I will."**

"**Now?" **

"**Not now. On Friday night? Will you let me take you out?" He asked me eagerly. **

"**I-I d-don`t know..."I huddled into myself. **

"**Please...you don`t have to be scared. I`d never hurt you Kim." **

"**You say that but..." **

"**I won`t. Ever! I could never hurt somebody as precious as you." **

"**Please...stop saying that stuff Jared." I don`t think my heart could take any more of what he was telling me for fear it might burst. **

**Ever so gently he brushed his fingers against mine, igniting the fire again. Please don`t stop that...I watched as his rough fingers began to caress my hand...running slowly over every knuckle...every finger...he got bolder...massaging the inside of my wrist...I closed my eyes as my breathing quickened...this can`t be happening...please don`t let him be messing about with me...The fire spread up through my arm and coursed though out my body, sending waves of pleasure everywhere...I wouldn`t stop him...not this time...it feels so right...**

"**Your skin is so soft Kim..."Jared whispered. I realized that his mouth was just beside my ear. Feeling bold I allowed my fingers to trace his large hand...his strong hand...I could feel his breathe on my cheek as he rested his head gently against my own, his face buried in my hair, breathing me in deep. **

"**I`m sorry for scaring you Kim...for coming on strong...but with you...I can`t help it..." His free hand came up behind my back and ran through the length of my hair. He smoothed it away from my neck and nuzzled into it. I breathed in deeply and bit my lip. Please don`t let this be a lie...please let it all be real...**

**Remember to review. It makes the story better and the chapters come along quicker. Besos.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5. Hope you guys enjoy. I am trying to make the chapters longer. Hope you all like where I am taking this and feel free to tell me any opinions you have. **

**Thanks again so much to all of you who reviewed on the last chapters. I love to know what you all think of it. Happy reading and enjoy. **

I waited nervously outside the dance school for Jared. Telling my mom that I was meeting some friends afterwards she gave me twenty bucks and a kiss on the cheek and told me to have fun.

What if he doesn`t come? What if he stands me up? Well, I did say meet me at eight. That was twenty minutes away. He wouldn`t stand me up. Not after what happened at lunch today. Oh man...we didn`t kiss but what all that touching...it made me blush...and smile...

"What are you smiling and blushing about?" A now too familiar voice made me lift my head up. Jared, as usual, stood towering above me. Smiling, he brushed some hair out of my face.

"N-nothing." I stutter-giggled. Jared smiled wider.

"Humm...could it me by any chance?" He asked boldly. If possible I must have turned beet red. "You don`t have to answer that." He assured me.

"So...what do you want to do?" I asked.

"Get a bite to eat? Are you hungry?"

"Emm...a little.." I admitted.

"I`m starved! Where do you want to eat?" We started to walk towards the town center.

"You decide. I don`t mind where we go."

"Well...we could go to the Kokopelli Grill?" Jared suggested.

"I never went. Is it nice?"

"Yeah. I go there quite a lot. They have great steaks." I bet he used to go there with Devon.

"I don`t really eat that much meat." I said quietly.

"Really? For ethical reasons?"

"No. For diet reasons. I like fish more anyway."

"Diet reasons? You have an amazing body." He laughed disbelievingly. I couldn`t help but smile a little.

"Not that type of diet. I mean it`s not healthy to eat red meat everyday."

"So you`re a health nut?"

"No! I just watch what I eat. Have to. Diabetes and fat runs in the family."

"I get it. It`s good what you are doing. Taking care of yourself. It shows."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I mean like you glow."

"Glow?" I laughed.

"With health and beauty." He added, winking at me.

"Stop!" I laughed some more.

"No!" He shook his head and tussled my hair. "You are so cute when you blush and are embarrassed." He said...in adoration? Don`t get too big for your boots Kimi!

"Cute is not the word I`d use."

"It`s the word I`d use. It`s the word I`ve always used for you." He told me quietly.

"You`re lying."

"Nuh-uh. Kimimela. Cute and so shy."

"You got the shy part right anyway."

"What do I need to do to stop you from being so shy with me?" He asked seriously.

"I don`t think you can."

"Don`t say that! Why not?"

"Because...it`s you." I told him quietly, cheeks flaming up more.

"It`s me. Remember Kim, you don`t have to be afraid of me. Come on..."

"Okay! Why do you think that I`m afraid of you?"

"Because...I just know. Because you are shy and sweet. I`m not exactly the type of guy who...attracts the type of girl like you." Okayyyyy...that so didn`t make any sense...and the only meaning I could glean from it is kinda insulting.

"What type of girl am I?"

"The best kind!" He said so wholeheartedly.

"Sure...so..." I trailed off, not knowing what the hell to say to him.

"So...?" He prompted, pulling me into him and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Oh wow...this is actually happening! "Tell me what`s on your mind?"

"Emm...do you...do you like...I dunno..." Euggh Kimi! For fucks sake! I could feel him shaking with laughter.

"How about I ask you the questions then you can ask me the same ones?" Jared offered.

"Okay." I mumbled embarrassed.

"Great. So Kim. What is the deal with you and Mark McEvoy?" Why ask me that? I stiffened and again I was over come with guilt. Poor Mark. I knew he liked me...and I had that date with him on Friday too...something we didn`t talk about since we arranged it.

"Me and Mark? We`re friends." I said.

"Just friends?" He asked.

"Just friends."

"But he likes you."

"How do you know that?"

"I hear things." I sensed another meaning behind his words.

"And how about you and Vanessa?" I countered, escaping from under his arm.

"There`s nothing between me and Vanessa." He sounded a bit pissed.

"Sure. You were passing notes all last week and flirting." I stopped and looked at him full on. "Did you really sleep with her?" I couldn`t keep the sadness out of my voice.

"Yes. I slept with her. But that was before you." He answered me quietly.

"Before me? You`re acting like you`ve just met me or something!"

"You don`t understand! Not yet you don`t."

"What don`t I understand? There`s actually a reason why you`re acting like...like...someone who`s lost their mind?"

"You think I`m acting crazy?"

"Yes! This isn`t you Jared. You acting this way with me is nuts."

"No it`s not! I like you Kim! Is it so wrong that I just want to be with you?"

"Since when?"

"What?"

"Since when do you like me? Since that history class yesterday?"

"Kim...yes okay. But before that...I had noticed you."

"Bullshit!" I spat at him.

"How the hell was I supposed to talk to you? You liked me right? You like me?"

"Don`t..."

"Do! You like me Kim. I know you do so don`t deny it."

"I`m not denying it." I was on the verge of tears. Jared ran his hands up and down my arms in a soothing way.

"Before...before yesterday I had noticed you. But how the hell was I supposed to know that you had any sort of feelings for me huh? You are so freaking shy...if you had looked my way I never noticed. It was never when I looked at you. When we were paired up yesterday, I asked to be partnered with Vanessa because I thought you didn`t like me or something, when I talked to you...you didn`t even look at me. You couldn`t even answer me properly. Is that meant to show that you like me? Am I supposed to read your mind or something? Kim...fuck...When I touched your hand...when I looked into your eyes...I knew...I knew there was a reason why I had maybe sub-conciously kept my distance from you...because who I was before didn`t deserve you. But I deserve you now."

"I`m sorry." I looked down at the pavement. My throat felt like I had swallowed cement.

"What are you sorry for?"

"For being mean to you."

"You call that mean? I`m sorry Kim. I keep on saying that I know but I am. Can you...give me a chance?" He asked of me gently. Biting my lip I looked up into his face and nodded. His eyes travelled around my face then finally rested on mine. He did have the most beautiful eyes.

"Yes. I`ll try not to be so shy with you." Jared`s large warm hand came and cupped my cheek.

"Don`t worry about that." Jared chuckled softly, stepping in closer to me.

"It`s just that...you make me so nervous." I admitted, ashamed.

"And you think you don`t make me nervous?" He questioned.

"I don`t." I shook my head and smiled at him.

"You do. Because you are the first girl that I actually want to think I`m a good person. Because I think about you all the time...wondering if you`re happy...wondering if you are safe...content. Because I know I have made a bad impression on you and I want to fix that."

"You haven`t made a bad impression on me Jared. I...I like y-you. I always have." I confessed in barely a whisper. By now Jared had me wrapped in his arms.

"Do you know how it feels to hear you say that? To say happy wouldn`t be doing what I`m feeling any justice." He took my hand and placed it over his heart. It was beating so hard, so fast. This feels so...right. My other hand sought out his hand from behind my back. Bringing it around I held it between us. His hand...Jared`s hand. I have fantasized so many times about his hands touching me...of holding my own. And now I am experiencing it. I know what it feels like and it feels fantastic!

"Jared...please...please don`t be lying to me..." I begged, showing all of my fear and vulnerability in my voice. He tilted my chin up so he could see my face more.

"I am not lying to you Kim. I will never lie to you. This is the realist thing I have ever felt in my entire life. You know this can`t be a lie. You feel it too, don`t you?"

"I feel it..." I closed my eyes as Jared slowly moved his face towards mine. The feeling of his soft, full lips on my own set ablaze the sleeping fire within me. I parted my lips ever so slightly for him to gain access. He nipped on my lips before breaking off the kiss altogether.

What a high! What a rush! I didn`t want to let go of him. I wanted him to kiss me some more. He still had his forehead resting gently against my own. It looked like he didn`t want to move away either. I moved in for another kiss which he caught readily with his waiting mouth. It was a short one...a chaste one...one that was sweet but...

"So much for not pushing you." He whispered against my lips. "I don`t think you know what your kisses do to me Kim." Pulling me into him again he wrapped his strong arms around me. Still a little shy I wrapped my arms around his waist and surrendered to his embrace. One large hand came up my back caressed the back of my neck. I couldn`t control the little sigh of pleasure that escaped my lips.

I don`t know how long we stayed like that on the pavement, but when it started to rain Jared broke the embrace and pulled up the hood of my coat for me.

"I thought we were getting something to eat? I don`t think your parents would appreciate me bringing their only daughter home half starved."

"Don`t worry about that." I reassured him, feeling maybe the happiest I have ever felt in my life. I didn`t want to go home. I wanted to stay with him as long as I could.

"Ha ha Kim. Come on. Let`s get some food into your belly and some meat on your bones." He took my hand and started walking. "They have fish at the Kokopelli too. I think you`ll like it. And on Friday...Do you like Thai food?" He beamed his mega-watt smile down at me.

"I`ve never tried it."

"Never! It`s the best restaurant in Port Angeles!" He said disbelievingly.

"My parents are not really into 'foreign' food." I told him.

"What about with you and your friends? You`ve never tried with them?"

"We just tend to hang out on the rez."

"Doing what?" He persisted.

"Just hanging out on the beach. Watching movies. Talking."

"What do you like to do besides dance?"

"Emm...I like yoga. And reading. And studying. Making jewelry. What about you?" I squeezed his hand.

"Hmmm...well. I used to read a lot but now I don`t have much time for that. Studying...a necessary evil. Yoga..never tried it and jewelry making...I`m the least creative person I know."

"Come on!" I laughed.

"I do like reading. I love watching TV. I used to box but I can`t now."

"Why not?"

"Because I got too strong." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"That`s not a valid reason."

"It`s the truth! I`m being serious. I also like to fish with my dad and brothers."

"I know that. And I know you used to box. And I know you like Star Trek."

"Ha! I remember you dressed up as Lieutennet Uhura last year for Hallow`een."

"Yeah...you dressed up as Spock. What are you going as this year?"

"I dunno...I don`t think I`m going. Are you going?"

"I always go with my friends. Why won`t you be going?"

"I might have to work."

"All night?"

"I hope not."

"What else do you do besides help out your dad on his boat?" Jared`s dad was a commercial fisherman.

"Protect the tribe."

"Protect the tribe?" I repeated.

"So...here we are." He sounded kinda relieved. We arrived to the restaurant and Jared held the door open for me. Once inside I saw that it was not too busy but there was a decent crowd. We waited to be seated. "Can I take your coat?" Jared asked.

"Okay..." Feeling a bit awkward I unbuttoned my coat and gave it to him. His eyes swept my figure before resting on my face again. Again I felt that strange heat burn my body.

"I like your outfit." Jared said in a low and husky voice. His tone sent a wave of pleasure coursing through me. I didn`t really know what he was talking about...I was just wearing black leggings and a loose fitting, grey jersey top. I sure hope I don`t smell after that dance practice.

"Thanks..." I mumbled.

"Just the two of you?" The host asked kindly. I nodded dumbly at him.

"Just the two of us." Jared confirmed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders again.

* * *

"Thanks again...for the dinner." I told Jared, as he pulled up behind my dad`s pick up.

"Thank you for having dinner with me."

"I had so much fun." Jared`s face lit up.

"That`s good to know. So...friday night? Thai food? Date?"

"Yes." I giggled. I couldn`t stop smiling. "I`d love that."

"So I already have your cell number. And I`m walking to school with you tomorrow and you`re having lunch with me...and I get to do this again..." He pulled me in for another kiss. Please don`t let my parents be watching this. That thought was erased the moment his sweet lips touched my own. Again I parted my lips for him but he didn`t deepen the kiss, maybe I scared him off the first time he tired to put his tongue in my mouth. He pulled away abruptly.

"I think I need to go now...your dad is at the door."

"What?" Shit! I turned my head and sure enough dad was standing in the door with his arms crossed looking the scariest I had ever seen him. I groaned. "I gotta go."

"I`m coming with you."

"Don`t...he`ll scare you away."

"Nothing can scare me away from you. Come on. I`ve known your dad since I was a baby." He got out of his car and ran over to my side to open the door for me. Oh God how embarrassing is this. Shame faced I got out and walked up the path to face dad.

"You`re very late Kimi." Dad said, looking at Jared.

"Hello Mr. Carrillo." Jared greeted, coughing awkwardly.

"Hello Jared." Dad said back, looking at him through narrowed eyes. "I see that you gave Kim a lift home. That was nice of you."

"Emm...yeah. We met up in Port Angeles."

"Umhum. What did you do?"

"Jared and I had a bite to eat." I rushed to tell him.

"Jared should ask me before he takes my daughter out for dinner." Dad said more to Jared than to myself.

"Dad!" I moaned. Now he is going to be scared away for good. I covered my face with my hands.

"Can I take Kim out on Friday night? For dinner?" Jared asked.

"I already said yes dad!"

"Can I talk to Jared alone Kim?"

"Oh my God...dad please..." I started to beg.

"Don`t make me ask twice Kim." Dad warned. I sighed and took my sports bag from Jared.

"I suppose I`ll see you tomorrow Jared." I said.

"See you tomorrow Kim. Have a nice night." He smiled at me and I went inside. Dad shut the door behind him. I put my ear against the door.

"Come with me." I heard my dad say. Trying to run quietly to the living room window I spotted my dad and Jared walk down the drive and stop at his car. I could just see my dads back but I knew he had his arms crossed. Jared looked a bit uncomfortable and was nodding his head over and over again.

"What are you doing Kimi?" Mom asked me from the kitchen.

"Watching dad run my life." I replied bitterly. Mom came over and stood beside me.

"He`s just looking out for you dear." Mom rubbed her hand up and down my hand tenderly.

"He`s going to scare him!"

"Look at the size of that boy. How his your dad going to scare him?"

"You know what I mean."

"If Jared is serious about you then your dad will be no problem for him."

"Eurgh!" I backed away from the window and stomped to my room. They so didn`t get it! They were so old fashioned it was nuts.

"Kimi!" My mom followed me to my room and shut the door behind her. "We`re just trying to protect you! You not really experienced with these types of things."

"And whose fault is that? You have never let me experience anything! You didn`t even let me go to parties until I was seventeen! Oh..and what else? Dating as well. Let`s not forget the no make up and eyebrow plucking rule. Or the endless stupid after school activities and extra classes that made me a social retard!" I said nastily.

"Don`t you dare talk to me that way young lady! Is giving you everything that your father and I never had screwing up your life? Is making sure you get the best possible education so you have the future you deserve making you feel like you are abused? There are children here whose parents don`t give a damn about them and you are acting like a spoiled brat! And for what? A boy?"

"You don`t understand!" I pouted.

"I do understand Kimi!" Mom used her gentler voice now. "I know what you are feeling. First love. But you have to understand that we are not trying to sabotage this."

"I really really like him mom." I told her. Begging her to understand. "I`ve liked him for like forever and now it`s really happening."

"If you feel that way then I`m happy for you."

"I just...I don`t want him to think I`m some stupid baby."

"You`re not Kimi. You are seventeen. Is it so bad that you don`t have all this experience with boys that you want so much?"

"Yes and no. At least I would know how to act around him. Act cool I mean." Mom shook her head.

"Act cool. Jared has probably seen how lovely and sweet you are and likes it. You don`t need to act any different than you do now."

"Sure mom."

"Do you want to know why your dad is so freaked out?"

"Why?"

"Because you are his little girl. And he sees what a beautiful young women you are turning into and it scares him to see boys taking an interest in you. He wants you to stay a little girl forever. And he knows how men think. And a man like Jared is something that scares him when it concerns you."

"He isn`t a bad guy."

"I know he isn`t! But if he ever hurt you then your dad would do him some serious damage." Mom got up and went to my dresser and looked at all the Anna Sui make up she got me for my seventeenth birthday. "Just don`t have sex with him too soon."

"Oh...sick mom..." I cringed and sank onto my bed.

"Say what you want. Are you hungry? I still have some pie left over from dessert."

"Yeah...I didn`t eat that much when I was out." I didn`t want Jared to think I was a pig or something. "I still need to do my homework." I glanced at the pile of books on my desk and sighed tiredly.

"I`ll write you a note. Saying you had a migraine or something. You deserve a break dear." She kissed my head. We heard the front door open and close. "I`ll talk to your dad okay."

"Thanks mom."

"Anything for you dear."

"I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetie." She left and closed the door behind her.

Checking the time I saw that it was almost half past ten. I didn`t exactly have a curfew but I could see why my dad was pissed why I was so late.

I got undressed and got into my pjs. Not really wanting to face my dad now I brushed my hair and got into bed.

I had a date with Jared...oh man...this is amazing...this is the best thing I could ever hope for...

What if he wants to go on another date after that? What if he asks me to be his girlfriend? That thought made me smile into my pillow. I could be his girlfriend...he would be my boyfriend...I could kiss him when I wanted to...we would be alone together doing things...

Just thinking about that made that deep heat burn inside of me...especially in the place where I had always fantasized where Jared would touch me...would explore me...would enter me...

My clitoris started to throb as I imagined Jared doing all that stuff to me...my nipples stiffened as I slipped my hand into my bottoms and rubbed my fingers over my aching sex.

I have never wanted anything so bad in my life like I wanted him. He was the first and only guy to evoke this type of sexual feeling in me. He was the only man I had ever dreamed about doing this with...and now it was possible. Moaning gently I came hard...with Jared doing that to me...it would feel a million times better...

Hearing a vibration coming from my coat pocket I slipped out of bed and got my Blackberry. I had a Watsapp message from Jared. Smiling, I slipped back into bed and read it.

'_I wish so badly that I was with you right now Kim...you have no idea!'_

_'I wish I was with you too.' _I wrote back. I only had to wait a couple of seconds for his reply_._

_'I can`t stop thinking about you...'_

_'Me neither...you have no idea...' I_ smiled as I sent it. Jared didn`t have any idea how much I thought of him only a couple of minutes ago.

_'Maybe I do ;) I want to kiss you again...differently this time..." _Holy fuck_..._

_'Different how?' _My heart started to beat faster. Again I only had to wait a couple of seconds_._

_'I`ll show you how when the time is right...' I_ made an odd noise as I read that._.._

_'What are you doing?'_

_'Thinking of you...'_

_'Did my dad freak you out?'_

_'No. Don`t worry. It`s okay Kimi...'_

_'Kimi? No! please!'_

_'Hmmm...I like it when you beg...lol'_

_'Stop it!' _I yawned and snuggled more into my bed_._

_'Never! Get some sleep beautiful. You`re tired.'_

_'See you tomorrow?'_

_'Tomorrow. I`ll be waiting for you outside your house at 8.'_

_'Night. Thanks again for today.'_

_'Night night. And thank you for today. I had the best time of my life._'

**Thanks so much for reading. Remember to tell me what you think in the form of a review or PM. Besos and night night.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six. Hope you guys enjoy! It is a lot longer than usual and I hope to keep that up. Thanks for all your reviews from the last chapter and thanks for favoriting my story. I am really grateful. Happy reading.**

"You look lovely Kimi." Mom complimented me as I joined the rest of my family for breakfast.

"Thanks mom." I smiled brightly at her, taking a bowl of Special K and topping it with some yogurt. Looking at the clock I saw that I had about ten minutes until Jared got here.

"Are you walking with Jared this morning?" Dad asked me.

"Mmmhumm." I mumbled over a mouthful of cereal and nodded my head.

"You have to be home at nine-thirty on Friday night." He informed me, not looking up from his newspaper.

"But dad...it takes like over an hour and a half to get to Port Angeles!" I coughed, swallowing the cereal too soon.

"Not my problem. You should have chosen somewhere closer."

"Closer? Dad! There is nowhere closer!" I argued, knowing I was pushing my luck with my tone of voice.

"Leave early and come back early. Simple." He fixed me with his 'shut the hell up now' stare and I turned to my mom. She gave me the 'I know what you are talking about' look and continued finishing up Josh`s lunch. Maybe I could count on her to talk to dad for me.

"Is that your new sweater?" Mom asked.

"Yep. Thanks for getting it for me again." I told her. Since I didn`t work, well, if you didn`t count the odd baby sitting jobs, I was totally dependent on my parents for money. But since my mom and dad`s timber yard and hardware store was pretty successful, I was kinda spoilt. But my parents liked to say not in a bad way. I liked to think not in a bad way as well.

"No problem. Here`s your note." She handed me the note and I went and tucked it into my pack pack. Wow...I can`t remember the last time I didn`t do any homework. Well, I would have to do it tonight on top of everything I`ll get today. Feeling my phone vibrate in my jeans pocket hastily took it out and checked it. A message from Jared. Smiling I opened it.

'Morning sunshine. Ready for school?' Sunshine...he just made my morning.

'Just about...finishing up breakfast.' I wrote back. I swallowed the last couple of spoonfuls hastily. My cell vibrated again.

'Cool. I`ll be there in about five minutes. If you need more time then I can walk slower.'

'Don`t worry. I`ll be ready.' I typed back. Gosh...I hope that doesn`t sound as desperate as I feel.

'See you in 5...but that isn`t soon enough...' Oh man...I had butterflies.

I washed my bowl and spoon quickly in the sink and ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Checking my reflection in the mirror I decided I didn`t look too bad. My eyes were bright considering the hour. Should I leave my hair in the ponytail? Should I wear it down? The doorbell went and my heart started to flutter excitedly. I fast walked to answer the door before my mom or dad could get to it first.

"Morning." Jared greeted me in that deep, sex drip voice. I got a strange tightness in my lower belly that made me breath deeper. That feeling from last night was returning.

"M-morning..." I smiled embarrassedly. "Let me get my bag...and Josh.." Not forgetting my brother.

"Come on in Jared." Mom called from the kitchen. "Do you want a bagel?"

I looked to Jared who smiled and gave a 'why not' shrug.

"Thanks." He called to my mom. I held the door open for him and as he passed me he ran his hand down my arm, making me a bit weak in the knees.

"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Carrillo." Jared greeted my parents.

"Morning Jared." Mom sang, smiling and handing Jared a plate with a bagel. "Cream cheese and bacon is on the table." She patted him on the arm.

"Thanks Mrs. Carrillo." He sat down and helped himself.

"How`s your parents Jared?" Dad asked him, staring at him over his newspaper.

"They`re good. I`ll tell them you were asking after them." He answered my dad, taking a huge bite of bagel. "How are you man?" Jared asked Josh, who was staring at him.

"Fine. Will I grow as big as you?" Josh asked.

"Depends. Kim is pretty tall, so you should be taller."

"How tall are you Kim?" Josh asked, so serious.

"Five foot seven squirt." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Don`t worry Josh. You`ll grow tall don`t worry." Dad reassured him. Dad was pretty tall so Josh won`t have any problem.

"Have you given any thought to college Jared?" Dad asked. Jared looked oddly uncomfortable.

"Yeah...I was thinking of Aquatic and Fishery studies...or something like that."

"I thought your dad said you wanted to do engineering or something."

"I changed my mind." He coughed awkwardly.

"Kim wants to study Fine Arts." Dad informed Jared.

"I know Kim is smart enough to study anything she wants." Jared said quickly, getting up and grabbing his bag. "I think we better head off now." He said to me. Why did he look kinda sad?

"Yeah..course...ready Joshie?" I put on my coat and grabbed my backpack.

"Don`t call me Joshie." Josh grumbled.

"Have fun at school kids." Mom said as she ushered us out of the house.

"Have fun." Dad called, picking up his newspaper again.

"Bye." Josh and I called, stepping out into the crisp autumn air.

"Bye. Thanks for the breakfast." Jared told my mom.

"No problem dear."

"Can I listen to your Ipod Kim?" Josh asked me.

"Sure. Here." I gave it to Josh who grabbed it and walked on ahead of us.

"Did you...did you have a nice night? Yesterday?" I asked Jared.

"Yeah! It was amazing?" He stepped in closer to me.

"Amazing? I`m glad you think so." I told him shyly.

"I`m just sorry it had to end so soon. I wanted more time with you."

"Oh? Me..me too."

"Really? You were thinking about me last night?" Sex drip voice was back... "Because I was thinking about you." He said in an impossibly deep voice.

"You...you were?" That tightness in my lower belly was getting tighter.

"You can`t imagine...last night...you were thinking about me right?" He made it sound so important.

"When?" I asked...feeling strange again.

"Right before I messaged you." Oh my God...he couldn`t know that could he?

"Right before you messaged me?" I felt my palms sweat. He couldn`t know... "Why? Do you know something?" That you shouldn`t I didn`t add but...I wanted to see his reaction.

"Know something?" Jared asked me. "Is there something I should know?"

"You tell me." Jared chuckled and pulled my backpack off me.

"Hey!" I yelled, completely shocked. Jared laughed loudly and dangled my back pack from his pinkie. How is that not hurting him?

"It`s too heavy for you to carry!" I argued. Jared snorted.

"If I wanted to I could carry you with one hand over my head." He claimed. "I could show you if you want."

"Nah...I believe you." I shook my head at him and made a grab for my bag. He held it out of reach.

"Were you thinking of me last night? Before I messaged you?" He asked me again.

"Why are you asking me that?" I couldn`t hide the discomfort in my voice. Jared seemed confused for a moment then apologetic.

"I don`t know...sorry, I should have known better. So...you look beautiful today." He complimented me. "You smell nice." He added, much to my confusion.

"I`m not wearing any perfume."

"I know. Thanks for that. I hate perfume now."

"Then what can you smell?" I was curious. Since I suffered from perfume intolerance I couldn`t use perfume, or anything that smelt nice. I rarely even used my make-up for fear it would cause an allergic reaction.

"You. You smell amazing. Soapy and clean. I like it." Jared eyed me almost lustfully which made my butterflies go crazy.

"You must have one amazing sense of smell." I laughed, not knowing where to look.

"I do." He confirmed. "So please don`t wear any perfume. I don`t think my poor nose could take it."

"Sure...so...when do you want to work on our history project?" I asked him, feeling the need for a change of subject that I felt comfortable with.

"I thought you wanted to do that alone?" He said seriously.

"Oh...oh okay. Sorry. We can...I can do it...don`t worry..." It came out all rushed. Jared made an annoyed noise. Great! Now I made him angry.

"I was kidding Kim! Course I want to do the project together. Like I wanted to in the first place. It will be great working with you. What gives you the right to steal my status anyway?"

"What status?"

"As the student with the top history grade?"

"Oh! I didn`t know you had the top grade. Sorry." Jared groaned again. Urrghh! I am so dumb!

"It was a joke!" He laughed, putting his long arm around my shoulder and pulling me into him.

"Funny." I muttered.

"You`ll get used to it. So do you want to do it after school?" Do it? As in...do it? Oh wait! He means the project.

"Okay. That would be fun."

"Perfect. Why didn`t you want to work together with me in the first place?"

"You didn`t want to work with me!" I reminded him.

"And I told you why. I thought you didn`t like me."

"So you only work with girls you think like you?"

"No. I...I thought that you didn`t like me in general." He wasn`t telling the truth. I knew he just wanted to work and flirt more with Vanessa that day. I bit the bullet.

"I didn`t want to work with you because...because you made me feel gross or something. That I wasn`t worth even an hour of your time."

"That`s not true!" He stopped and turned me to face him. He was taking this way too seriously.

"Come on...it`s fine!" I couldn`t look at him when he is being all intense...it was too much...

"Let me explain something to you before you get anymore ideas about me. I have never thought you were gross, or insignificant! That day...when you were having that asthma attack...I was worried. You were all red in the face. You wouldn`t even look at me when I asked you if you were okay. I pegged it down for Kim being shy but I knew the real reason was me. I knew you didn`t want to look at me. I thought you thought that I was the gross one."

"That`s not true!"

"What`s true then? Please tell me." He begged. I couldn`t not tell him the truth. I mustered all of my courage.

"That...that day...I was planning to finally try and talk to you." I confessed. "I was almost late getting to class because I was..." I cringed. "...I was brushing my teeth. I didn`t want my breath to smell bad you know..." I rolled my eyes at myself. "Then I got the asthma attack and...you talked to me...for the first time in ages...I chickened out."

"I don`t bite Kim." He said quietly, running the backs of his fingers up and down my cheek.

"I didn`t know that." I whispered, crazily wanting him to kiss me again.

"You know now..." He whispered back...moving his face closer into mine.

"I`m telling mom and dad!" Josh`s boyish voice yelled from somewhere up the road. Shit! I forgot about him! I stepped quickly away from Jared and turned to the little shit.

"Josh! Do it and.."

"Let me. I know a thing or two about keeping little brothers quiet." Jared said. "Josh. What do you want for keeping your little mouth shut about this?" He asked, advancing towards Josh.

"I want you to leave my sister alone!" He crossed his arms and fixed Jared with a stare that had a creepy resemblance to my dads. Jared laughed.

"Not going to happen. How about I take you and Brian and your friends somewhere?"

"Kim`s already doing that!" Josh was having none of it.

"Yeah but Kim didn`t offer to take you all to the cinema as well." Josh considered it for a moment.

"And MacDonald`s."

"And MacDonalds." Jared confirmed, extending his hand. Josh looked at it.

"And you have to play basketball with me."

"Deal." Jared and Josh shook hands.

"And what do you have to do?" Jared asked, not letting go of Josh`s hand.

"Shut up about what I saw." He said.

"Exactly. Now. Walk ahead and leave your sister and me alone." Jared commanded. Josh nodded happily and put my ear phones back in. Jared smiled at me cheekily and took my hand.

"Not so difficult eh?" He asked.

"No...not when you do it." I smiled at him.

"I was thinking...do you have a curfew?"

"Oh...my dad says I have to be home at nine thirty on Friday." So embarrassing for a seventeen year old.

"Okay no problem. I was thinking. Do you want to go somewhere else instead? Or do something else?" Did he not want to have dinner with me again?

"Like what?" I asked.

"Like hang out with Sam and Emily over that their place? Watch some movies. She`s a great cook. I`d like you to meet them." My insides turned weird.

"I already know Sam and Emily." I told him. My voice stern. I wasn`t about to betray Leah like they did.

"Oh right. Your mom is Leah`s aunt."

"Which makes me her cousin." I pointed out.

"The whole thing was just...blown out of proportion." Jared said.

"Not really. Leah is..." I shouldn`t tell him how miserable Leah still is. Miserable is so not the right word.

"I know Leah. She just needs to move on and get over it." How could he be that cruel?

"Maybe Sam and Emily needs to move away and not rub Leah`s nose in it?" I retorted angrily.

"You don`t understand." Jared said quietly. "So it seems that is out of the question."

"I`m not going to their house." I took my hand out of his and put it safely in my coat pocket.

"Okay! Port Angeles it is then." He said soothingly. "We should leave early. About five. Half past four or something."

"Sure. What you want." I said to the ground. Why was he such good friends with Sam anyway? I mean...I know when Sam was still in high school last year he and Jared were friends but they were never that close. And throwing Paul Lahote into the mix sure as hell made it all the more confusing. And Emily...I didn`t want to cause any problems by going to her house.

"What you want. If you don`t want to go to Sam`s and Emily`s then that`s okay. I just thought you might like it you know, but I was stupid not to think of Leah."

"Don`t worry." Another thought occurred to me. "If it`s too much to go to Port Angeles again then I`m fine with staying here you know."

"As in too much money?" Jared asked.

"Em...yeah. I mean...all the gas money and plus you wouldn`t let me pay for anything the last time and stuff..." I trailed off when I saw an almost pissed look on his face.

"You think I wanted to stay here so I wouldn`t have to pay for our date?"

"N-no. I didn`t mean it like that."

"I just wanted my friends to meet you. It`s not about not being able to afford, which I can by the way, gas money and dinner."

"Sorry."

"Stop saying sorry Kim! Why are you always apologizing?" He snapped. Oh wow! Okay...Why did he have to be so mean? Swallowing a lump in my throat I walked faster to catch up with Josh.

"Shit! I`m so sorry Kim." Jared grabbed my arm to make me stop walking.

"Quit it Jared!" I shrugged out of his hold and grabbed my bag from him.

"Oh man..." Jared groaned. "Please Kim...I am sorry. I didn`t mean to snap at you."

"Don`t...I don`t get it...why are you being so...intense?" I kept a couple of feet between us.

"I`m sorry...I`m sorry okay! Please forget I snapped at you. I didn`t mean to."

"Listen... I don`t know what`s up with you..." And I knew something was up! "...but you can`t just act this way with a girl you hardly know."

"Act what way?" Jared questioned. "I know I wasn`t making you feel uncomfortable before."

"Well you are now!"

"Then what do you want me to do Kim? Leave you alone? Say the words and I`ll do it. I`ll do whatever you want. If I`m too much for you then you just have to say." Oh holy God...he knew I didn`t want him to leave me alone...he knew it and wanted me to confirm it. I didn`t want him to leave me alone. I wanted the lovely, romantic Jared. I also wanted the intense, sexual Jared that he was being right now. "You know you only have to say the words."

"J-Jared I...I...don`t want you to be angry at me." Gosh Kimi...so much for not sounding pathetic! He face softened considerably at my words. He cupped my face and bent down to kiss me. An odd noise, almost a cross between a moan and a grunt, escaped me as Jared`s soft, full mouth attacked my own in a gentle yet persistent way. It was like I knew he wasn`t going to let up until I granted him access.

Parting my lips I felt his warm, moist tongue taste the inside of my lips before dipping in farther and meeting my own. That, combined with Jared`s low groan of what I hope was pleasure, made me get so excited and wet. It`s just a kiss Kimi...just one amazing kiss...from the guy you are in love with...oh wow he tastes so good...oh fuck this is so hot...

I brought my arms up around his neck and deepened the kiss. Wow...I was being quite bold doing this but I wanted it. Jared groaned even louder and moved his hands from my face and neck down to my waist. I wonder if he meant to feel my breasts or if it was an accident? I honestly couldn`t give a fuck...right now he could touch me where ever he wanted.

"Oh Kim..." Jared mumbled against my mouth. He pressed me hard against him and groaned loudly. What was that pressing into my belly? I moaned a little which made Jared kiss me harder for a moment before breaking off the kiss altogether. Noooo...don`t stop! I stumbled forward a little. Why was Jared standing away from me? Facing away from me?

"If I hadn`t of stopped it..." He started but didn`t finish. He seemed to think that that was enough of an explanation. I didn`t. He was breathing heavily and looked like he was concentrating hard on something in the ever grey sky.

"I-I wish you didn`t stop it." I told him gently and quietly. Jared snapped his head around and looked at me in a way that got me at once scared shitless and turned on beyond belief.

"Believe me...you wish I did." He turned around and strode towards me. "Because when you smell like that...I have a really hard time controlling myself." Jared`s eyes turned almost black.

"But...I don`t smell of anything." I meekly told him.

"You do...you smell like heaven...and it`s coming from somewhere that I desperately want to see. Somewhere I want to touch and kiss and lick..." He...he can`t mean my...no no no...he can`t...he can`t smell that well... "Most of all Kimi...I want to explore that place with something else I have..." My clit throbbed painfully despite the fact that what Jared was saying should have been making me run away screaming. I don`t care...you can do whatever you want to me...

"How would you do it?" I asked in a strange husky voice that I never heard myself speak in before. Jared`s eyes widened in shock for a moment. They then darted around my face and body. I swore he licked his lips. Then a pained look spread across his face as he shook his head repeatedly.

"We`re gonna be late." He said, almost angrily, as he stepped away from me for a second time.

"Oh..right.." Jared marched ahead and I had a really difficult time matching his pace. My mind was reeling. What the heck just happened?

He way he was talking about my vagina...a sharp throb of my clit made me sigh. Jared turned his head in my direction and gave me an unfathomable look. How can he know this stuff? Or maybe I just smelt so strong that everyone could smell me...oh God please don`t let it be that!

We didn`t talk all the way to school and by the end of our little walk I was a nervous wreck. He hadn`t looked my way once, and when I tried to fall out of pace with him he just adjusted to my speed. Why wasn`t he talking to me? Why wasn`t he looking at me? Once in the parking lot I decided to ask him what was on his mind.

"Jared?" I asked carefully.

"Yes?" He still wasn`t looking at me.

"Did I do something?" He still wouldn`t look at me, and took a long time to answer me.

"No. You didn`t do anything." He looked at me then, he was trying to smile but it seemed a bit off.

"Why can`t I believe that?"

"Because I`m acting like a jerk and you don`t know why." Jared answered, completely taking me aback! "Believe me Kim. It`s not you." Huh?

"It`s not me?" Isn`t that what people said when it really is you?

"No." He shook his head.

"Then why were you acting like it was?"

"We are going to be late Kim." Jared said instead of answering me. "I promise on Friday I`ll tell you everything." He reassured me. This was just all too confusing for me to get any type of grip on. He must have noticed the stricken look on my face for he pulled me into him. "You must think I`m a total freak or something huh?" He laughed, albeit dryly.

"I don`t think you are a freak." I told him, noticing the students walking past giving us weird looks. I spotted Mark walking past, giving me a disgusted look. Feeling horrible about him I stepped out of Jared`s embrace.

"Do you want me to talk to Mark?" Jared asked.

"W-what? Why?" I blustered, feeling mortified.

"Because the guy has this idea about you. He thinks that he`s taking you out tomorrow night."

Oh shit...the cinema! I did say I would go with him. Urrghhh! But...he can`t seriously think after all this Jared stuff that had gone down that we are still having that date? What self respecting guy would still want a girl who was publicly seen kissing another guy?

"I...I said I`d go to the cinema with him." I admitted in a small voice. Jared just looked at me.

"Do you want to go with him? It`s your choice. Afterall, he did ask you first."

"How do you know that?"

"I over heard him telling someone." Jared said. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to go with you on Friday." I said, with made Jared smile brightly.

"Perfect. So I`ll talk to Mark."

"I`ll talk to him Jared." He is my friend after all.

"But if I talk to him I`ll make sure that he knows that you are taken." Jared said, taking my hand.

He couldn`t mean what he was saying, could he? Taken as in...his girlfriend. My heart skipped a beat as Jared gave my hand a squeeze. This can`t be happening...things like this don`t happen to me...and especially with Jared Cameron of all boys...

"I`m...taken? You mean for Friday night right?" The laugh that followed what I said sounded so fake coming from my lips. Jared looked thoughtful. He led me to a more private part of the schools parking lot.

"Taken as in...all your Friday nights. In case you haven`t noticed Kim...I want to be with you. I want to go out with you. I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be my girlfriend." He said this so seriously and I was left with no doubt that he wasn`t lying to me. Those words...they were the words I always wanted to hear coming out from him. It was like all my dreams had come true hearing those simple words.

"Y-you want me to be your girlfriend?" I smiled at him but Jared still had his serious expression on. My smile faltered when he didn`t return it.

"I want you to be mine. I want it more than anything in the world. But..." He looked pained and I suddenly felt fearful. "But I don`t want you to make that decision just yet. I want you to tell me after our date on Friday."

"Why is that so important?" I asked. It was like friday night was the make it or break it for him.

"Trust me Kim...it`s important." The bell rang after he told me that.

"Better get to homeroom." I said slowly, not knowing how to feel. Jared nodded and we walked there together. Never once did he let go of my hand. Never once did he try to hide the fact that he was doing it.

When we finally got to homeroom I sat at my desk and mulled over everything. Yes I was freaked, freaked but happy in a way. But the thing that got to me the most was how Jared had this inexplicable pull over me. How things felt at once so right, so logical and yet so out of the ordinary made me feel like I was being pulled in two different directions.

I knew I shouldn`t be acting like I was with him. He had a girlfriend not two days ago, he had been cheating on her with another girl and here I was, holding his hand and kissing him, ready to say yes to being another notch on his bed post. What if he was just making all this stuff up? What if he didn`t really want me like he said?

Am I really this pathetic? Goes to show how stupid I am when it comes down to this kind of stuff. However, something deep inside me is telling me that this time it`s different for him...and for me. My heart is telling me that this is it. My brain is telling me to be on guard. This isn`t normal. He is acting like I am his girlfriend...and he is making all the decisions too...

He had promised me he would tell me the reason for his sudden and dramatic interest in me but he is so adept at distracting me that I completely forget about it. And what was so important about Friday? Why did it seem so important for him to tell me whatever it was he wanted to tell me then? Why did he want me to wait to make my decision about being his girlfriend until after that?

Holy shit...what if he had some disease or something? No...no he wouldn`t have a disease...I looked around and saw that Jared was watching me intently. He smiled dreamily at me. No...he wasn`t sick. He had for want of a better word...changed.

It was more than some summer growth spurt. If you looked deeper, beyond the physical, you could see it. There was something more to him. The way he held himself now...it was almost as if he was trying to hide something...that, coupled with his strange behavior led to something that I was almost afraid of finding out what it was. And he was afraid of telling me for sure. That was a fact. I noticed the sad and pained looks on his face whenever the subject was brought up. Whatever it was was a big deal for him. Maybe all of this was his way of buttering me up before he tells me whatever it is he wants to tell.

I looked around at him again. And of course he was still watching me. His black eyes, it seemed, burned right into my soul. I was suddenly afraid that he would somehow know what I was thinking. I knew of course that that was impossible. He always seemed to know what I was feeling though...like last night...like on the walk to school...

The bell ringing made me jump. Was I that lost in my own thoughts? Was I that lost in him?

"Kimi!" Saffron`s voice sounded behind me. I turned to my friend and say her looking almost gleefully at me. I glanced around at Jared and say him standing hesitantly beside his desk.

"Hey Saff!" I said back. Standing up I swung my back pack over my shoulder and faced her.

"So?" She prompted, looking at Jared and giggling.

"So?" I repeated. She rolled her eyes at me and whispered in my ear.

"No way are you not telling me what`s going on. Girls bathroom. Now!" She commanded.

"Fine...just let me..." I looked around for Jared again. He was still in the same spot looking a bit put out.

"I`ll be waiting. Hurry up!" And with that she bounded out of the class and disappeared.

"So I won`t be walking you to Biology today." Jared said with a hint of a smile.

"Saffron needs to talk to me about something." I said, knowing that Jared knew the reason why she wanted to talk to me.

"That`s fine. I`ll see you in a bit though. Shame we don`t sit next to each other in Bio." And he did seem oddly sorry because of that. I smiled at him.

"I don`t want you to get sick of me." I half joked.

"I could never!"

"And besides...I think my grades would take a hit if we sit next to each other in all our classes."

"Really? Why?" He asked, catching on to what I was saying.

"You know why..." I smiled shyly and peaked up at him through my eyelashes. He was chewing slightly on his lower lip and his eyes were heavy lidded with that sexy look of his.

"When you look at me like that Kim..." He reached out for me but stopped when it seemed he thought the better of it. "I bet Saffron is doing her nut waiting for you." He led me out of homeroom and walked me to the girls bathrooms. "See you in Biology."

"See you." I smiled at him and entered the girls bathrooms. I was immediately engulfed in a cloud of Gucci rush as Saffron enveloped me in a rib rushing hug.

"Shesshhh...Saff!" I hugged her back for a moment before setting myself free.

"Kimi! Is this seriously happening? SERIOUSLY!" She squealed, jumping a little.

"Is what happening?" I couldn`t help but smile. She punched me playfully on the arm.

"You and Jared! Jared Cameron! You two are like holding hands and kissing and..." She looked like she was going to burst. "basically acting like you are an item."

"Hold up Saff! I..." But I was cut off.

"He`s a jerk Kim." It was Tania Simons. Another girl from my grade. We weren`t exactly friends but we did talk when we saw one another. My heart sank...yet another girl Jared had slept with.

"Come on Tania..." Saffron started but Tania shook her head and waved her away.

"It`s true! Every girl in this school knows it." She looked at me apologetically.

"Yeah but...he said that..." I couldn`t finish what I wanted to say. Tania finished for me.

"He said that you are the only girl for him? That you are special? He took you out for something to eat and told you that he wants you to be his girlfriend?"

I couldn`t say anything...I just felt a devastating wave of horror and sadness wash over me.

"That`s his game." Tania continued. "Don`t fall for it. Enough girls have."

"Yeah but...maybe this time it`s different." Saffron defended. Tania rolled her eyes.

"No offense Kim. But no way Jared dumped his girlfriend for you. She`s his trophy. You can do way better."

I nodded. The bathroom was horribly quiet now. Every girl was looking in my direction. This is going to be hot gossip now. But I didn`t care about that. Let them talk away. Could Jared be that cruel? Could he really hurt me like that? I had my answer. She was standing in front of me. Tania had first hand experience of him. Vanessa as well. He gave her the cold shoulder pretty quickly. And I was ready to believe every word that came out of his mouth because he was finally paying me some attention? Do I really have no self worth whatsoever?

"I better head to class." I said in a daze. Saffron took my hand.

"Kim...listen..I really do think he likes you." She whispered in my ear.

"Leave it Saff. Please. I`ll talk to you later about it." I promised her.

"Okay...see you in gym." She said.

"See you."

I hurried out of the bathroom and ran into Paul Lahote of all people. He was frowning and looking at me in concern.

"Hey Kim." He greeted me. I looked at him warily. He was pretty tight with Jared now...maybe he was in on it too.

"Hi Paul." I said shortly before rushing away from him and down the corridor the the Biology lab.

Great...I would have to face him there. What do I say to him now? How do I act? I feel like I`m going to hurl. On shaky legs I entered the class and hurried to sit beside my lab partner Danny. Jared sat in front of me to the left and I knew he was looking at me. I took out my book and homework and kept my eyes glued to them. I can`t look at him. He`ll know...he`ll know how sad I am. Please let the teacher come soon! Oh man...I know he`s still looking at me! And it`s getting more and more difficult to stop myself from looking over at him! I need to do something to distract myself. I looked at Danny who was scribbling down answers to the homework hastily.

"Need help?" I offered in an almost desperate voice. He looked at me in relief.

"Yes please! Thanks Kim! Bernardo will have my ass if I don`t give him the homework again!"

"How many do you have left?" I asked.

"Seven." He groaned. I gave him my homework.

"Copy it." I told him. He smiled at me thankfully and eyed my homework like it was something precious.

"You are so cool Kim! You`re a life saver!" He smiled cheesily at me before getting down to work. Not wanting to look at Jared I watched him scribble down the remaining answers.

I knew I was going to have to look at him sometime. I was also going to have to talk to him as well. Tania`s warnings...Vanessa`s also...I knew I should take them seriously but...this was Jared. I had always felt some strange connection to him. And since that history class that sensation had intensified so much that I didn`t feel complete when he wasn`t near me. And I felt so comfortable around him...it felt so right when he touched me, when he kissed me and when he held my hand that I was certain that I would readily sallow anything that he told me.

Would it be so bad though? If he was lying to me I mean. I had the chance to experience him. A chance that I may never get again. Would I regret it for the rest of my life if I cut him off now? And I had always dreamed of making love to him...of losing my virginity to him. And it was a real possibility now. If I go into this with my eyes open...if I have no expectations of him then it wouldn`t hurt so bad when he moved onto his next girl, would it?

Bullshit! I know it would hurt like hell! It was potentially scarring. But still...I succumbed to the temptation to look his way...and yes he was watching me, turned slightly in his seat he had his head turned my way. And he looked a bit nervous...a bit scared...and he was searching for something in my face. Whatever he saw there didn`t give him any relief.

Where they really the eyes of an asshole? Those beautiful black eyes. So soft...so sure...full of promises...full of hope...full of...No Kim! Don`t even believe that for one second that he could love you! Love doesn`t happen this soon! Love at first sight...pfft! Jared has seen me before! I dropped my eyes to my desk and stared at the scribbles that littered it.

The phrase be careful what you wish for seemed so appropriate now. I finally had Jared paying me attention and I never felt so happy and so sad. Was this all just an elaborate ploy to get me to sleep with him? Taking me out for dinner, walking me to school and paying me so many compliments. Was I really that easy? I knew the answer. If he had me somewhere private and started all his sexy voice and amazing kiss routine then my panties would for sure drop and my virginity be taken. Was this something that I needed to experience? Was this something that my mom was always trying to shield me from? Was getting your heart broken and your teenage dreams crushed a rite of passage into adulthood? Something that made you ultimately stronger?

But if he was serious about me...I considered our date for tomorrow night. It would be stupid of me to go in face of all the warnings I`d received. However, the thought of canceling filled me with horror. Despite all I knew of Jared, all the bad aspects of his personality, I still wanted him as I had always wanted him. And I wanted him so bad! Maybe if we spent some time together he would see me differently...not as another girl he could sleep with. He would see that we had similar interests...similar ambitions...watching him over the years and listening to him had made me a good authority of what he was into and most of them happened to be what I liked too! That surely had to mean something, didn`t it?

Then again that was a stupid fantasy. Did he only have one thing in mind when it came to me? Or did he really like me? My heart was screaming at me to believe it! That it was true. Since all of this happened never once had I smelled a rat. I never once believed he was lying to me. The only seeds of doubt were planted there by third parties. I also knew it was idiotic not to listen to them. That things were not as they seemed when it came to him...

"Thanks so much Kim!" Danny whispered, sliding my homework over to me as Mr. Bernardo made his customary late entrance to Biology. I smiled at him.

"It`s okay. Let me know if you are stuck again." I told him in a whisper as Mr. Bernardo slammed his briefcase down on the desk. That was the cue for the class to shut up and give him their undivided attention. With a sigh I opened up my book and took out my highlighter. Giving Jared one last glance I got down to work.

He had still been watching me it seemed. His stare had been unwavering. Confident yet a bit perlexed. It was a but unnerving how he looked at me...making me feel totally exposed...it was almost like I had nothing to hide from him...even if I wanted to I couldn`t.

**Remember to review. It makes the story a whole lot better you know. Besos.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7. Hope you all enjoy. I am sorry I have been neglecting this story lately. Happy reading.**

With an inhuman strength that I never knew that I possessed I kept my attention on Mr. Bernardo despite Jared´s strange magnetic pull screaming for me to look his way. My mind was in overload. It would be the dumbest thing ever if I ignored all the warnings I got. To turn a blind eye to Jared´s past and his strange behavior would turn me into one of those dumb chicks that I swore I would never turn into. Logic was telling me that I would get my heart broken big time. He would hurt me. He would get me to sleep with him then ignore me afterwards. Would be mean to me like he was mean to Vanessa. And when he moved onto his next girl? How would I feel then? How much would that hurt? My belly clenched horribly at that thought.

In my peripheral vision I saw Jared´s huge form turn slightly in his lab stool. Don´t look at him Kimi. Figure out what you are going to do then…..then I don´t know what. It would be so so hard to give him the cold shoulder. And if I did give him the cold shoulder and he just accepted it and spotted his next target I would still feel like shit!

The truth was that I wanted him. I loved him. I always have in spite of his dickhead attitude towards women. These past couple of days have felt so real, so right. Like all of years of watching him, of waiting for him have finally paid off. As though my gut feelings have been confirmed. Like there was some underlying reason why my attentions have always been focused on him. Or was that just wishful thinking? Maybe I was being so obvious over the years and he had always known that I liked him and figured "Why not? I´ll give her a go."

Knowing that the bell was going to signal the end of class at any moment I resigned myself to having to face the reality of my situation. Scribbling down the usual ton of biology homework I glanced over at Jared. He was hunched over his notebook and rubbing the back of his shorn head in an almost nervous way.

With the shrill ringing of the bell the class jumped eagerly out of their stools and rushed towards the door. I had Home Economics next which would be Jared free. He had his stuff gathered in front of him and he wasn´t making any move to get going, or even to look at me. As I passed him I could hardly hear him get up but the hot fingers that brushed against my upper arm told me he had. Trying to steady my nerves and emotions I turned and looked up at him. He was grim. Some undefined emotion was rolling off of him in waves, making me feel…oddly guilty.

"You have Home Ec now right?" He asked me in that odd, unemotional way that reminded me of our first strange encounter in the hallway.

"Yeah…..I better get going." My eyes kept on darting towards the door where Yoli was waiting for me, her eyes trained on her fingernails.

"Okay. I have to go somewhere for lunch so…" He swallowed which made his adam´s apple bobble up and down. "So we´ll see each other in Math?" He asked, again no emotion coloring his voice, which made me kinda confused.

"Sure. See you in Math." I replied, hesitantly looking into his eyes. Guarded eyes which immediately got me scared.

"Kim?" Yoli´s soft voice came apologetically from the door. "We are going to be late."

"I´m coming." I made a bee line towards her and we both headed off towards Home Ec. I couldn´t look at him again. Although I could feel his eyes burning into the back of me.

"Tania told me what she told you." Yoli informed me, rolling her eyes.

"It must be the hot topic now." I replied bitterly.

"Not really. Listen Kim, there are way more guys with worse reps than Jared." She told me gently.

"So I should just ignore what I´ve been told?"

"No. Not at all. Just don´t judge him too harshly is what I´m saying. I mean, out of all the girls he slept with here, which in reality, isn´t that many, did so because they wanted to, not because he tricked them into it. Tania, Vanessa and who else? Maybe Casey are the exceptions. Maybe he lied to them, I don´t know. Or maybe they just didn´t want to see the truth."

"Maybe I don´t want to see the truth either."

"You don´t." Yoli said. "You don´t want to believe that he actually likes you because you are so dumb you think that you are some sort of hideous monster."

"I´m not that pretty."

"Jesus Kim! You are so pretty. Stop judging yourself. Plus you are such a good person and smart! That counts for a lot more than sexy clothes and hair extensions."

" I don´t know Yoli. I mean….I like him so much…too much! If it turns out to be a big fat lie on his part it would destroy me."

"It won´t destroy you. You would get burnt big time but then you would go off to college and forget him. You need this Kim. Would you rather go through life thinking what if? That is totally worse."

True to his word Jared was nowhere to be seen during lunch. Saffron was beginning to bug me with all her theories and suggestions and what I should do around Jared. Vanessa was giving me black looks from across the cafeteria and Mark wouldn´t even look at me.

When I tried to explain to him that I wouldn´t be going to the cinema with him on Friday night he just told me that he got the message way before and then acted like I didn´t even exist, which of course, put another topping of guilt on top of me.

Deciding that I needed to get away from the noise I went to the girls bathrooms and shut myself away in one of the stalls. What I really wanted to do was to just go home and sleep.

I was knocked out of my trail of thoughts by the bathroom door being banged open and slammed shut and two sets of feet coming in.

"He still hasn´t texted me back!" Vanessa´s husky voice echoed about. Hearing someone turn on the tap I lifted my feet up and stayed still.

"He just wants to make you sweat. That´s why he´s playing with Kim. He just wants to make you jealous." Jolene said consolingly to Vanessa.

"Ya think?" Vanessa said hopefully.

"Eh duh bitch! She has nothing on you. She is such a virgin."

"I don´t know. She has been looking good recently. She has great clothes."

"She´s too dark." Jolene said dismissively. "Her mom is practically black. You know Jared likes them lighter, like you."

How fucking dare Jolene talk about my mother that way! Fucking bitch! With that I slammed open the stall door and stared at Jolene and Vanessa´s shocked faces in the mirror. Vanessa had her mouth hanging open dumbly and Jolene had her hair brush still halfway through her highlighted light brown hair.

"We didn´t know you were in here Kim." Vanessa said, looking a bit guilty.

"Obviously not." I replied, not sparing her a second glance as I turned my hate filled stare onto Jolene. "Talk about my mother that way again and you´ll be sorry. I´ll be sure to let her know that you think she´s looking a bit too dark recently."

"Fuck you Kim." Jolene smirked at me, her eyes glittering with menace. "For all your good little girl act you are the slut here. Taking Jared away."

"I took nobody away Jolene."

"Eugh Kim. You are so dumb. Do you really think Jared actually likes you? Do you really think that you´re his type?"

"Why are you so hung up on this Jolene?" I hissed at her. When I saw the fleeting fear in her eyes then I understood. "Maybe because you like him?" She shoved me viciously after that.

"Shut your fucking face Carrillo." She swore, advancing towards me.

"Hey!" Yoli shouted from the doorway.

"Stay out of this Rodriquez!" Jolene snapped. "Your dumb bitch of a friend has some nerve acting like she has any right to Jared."

"Why don´t you tell Vanessa what you really think about Jared?"

"I swear to God Yolanda.." Jolene began.

"Tell me what exactly?" Vanessa asked Jolene dangerously.

"Alex told me all about the texts and calls. He told me all about you and Jared. Sorry Vanessa." Alex was Yolanda´s twin brother, who was friends with Jared. "Looks like Jared was boning the two of you at the same time…but it seems that not all of you were aware of it. Come on Kim."

We left the bathroom, which looked like it was going to turn into a crime scene on account of the way Vanessa´s face turned into a terrifying mask of fury. As we got halfway down the hall I tugged at Yoli´s sleeve to make her stop walking.

"Was he really sleeping with Jolene too?"

"He slept with her once according to Alex. She was offering it up to him on a plate. What guy would say no to that?"

"This just keeps on getting worse and worse. If you knew then why didn´t you tell me before."

"Because I really do think he likes you. And he really has broken up with his girlfriend. Listen Kim, you do what you want. I don´t want to see you get hurt. And you will hurt if you turn him away. That´s what I was saying about being smart about this. Remember?"

"Yeah I remember."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I dunno. It´s just scaring me you know. I don´t know what to do."

"Maybe you should cool the whole thing for a while?"

"You´re right. This has been way too much way too fast. I can´t ignore all of what I´ve heard." Although I really wanted I didn´t add. I sighed as I went back into the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria to collect my bag before math. I could ignore a lot of things but I couldn´t ignore the way he makes me feel when I´m around him, or when he kissed me.

I was expecting Jared to be at my locker when I got there, and of course I was a little bummed when he was nowhere to be seen. I had seen Vanessa and Jolene being escorted to the principals office. Jolene was sporting a brilliantly purple black eye and Vanessa´s hair was a mess. All because of a boy. All because of Jared.

When I got to math he was already there, seated a little off behind my desk.

When our eyes met I half smiled in way of greeting, which of course I didn´t really feel and one which he didn´t return. As I sat down and put my back to him I let out a deep breath. I think the word awkward covers everything at the moment.

Oh Kimi Kimi. What is going on in your life right now? As we were doing some exercises I compared the white of the paper against my dark brown hand. Jolene´s words came to mind. Does he really prefer them lighter? Like his official girlfriend back in Forks? If so then that was really self hating of him. Too dark? I would never forgive Jolene for saying that. Stupid fucking bitch!

Class passed and again not knowing what way to face him after everything that had happened I left without even looking at him.

When I was about ten feet down the hall I felt his heat and his hand gently touch my shoulder.

"You don´t need to run away from me Kim." Jared said from behind me. As I turned around I felt really ashamed.

"Do I need to?" I asked of him. I stared into his eyes. They held my own unflinchingly. He was so still.

"You don´t." He only said simply. Crap, why does he have to be so handsome?

"I think I better go to class."

"Are we still on for Friday night?" He asked me in a rush.

"Em….yeah."

"Are you sure?" He pressed.

"Yes I am." I answered a bit more confidently. He nodded but didn´t look satisfied.

"You won´t regret it Kim. If you give me this chance I mean. I promise you won´t regret it."

Later that day when I got home and logged into my hotmail account what I found almost made my heart stop beating.

With trembling fingers I opened the facebook message from Jared´s ex girlfriend Devon I felt sick.

YOU'RE A STUPID UGLY BITCH! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT JARED LIKES YOU YOU FAT PIECE OF SHIT! HE IS MY BOYFRIEND AND ITS GONNA STAY THAT WAY! HE WOULD NEVER BREAK UP WITH ME FOR A SQUAW CUNT LIKE YOU! WE ARE STILL TOGETHER AND WHEN HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS LITTLE GAMES WITH YOU WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN LAUGHING AT YOU! GOING TO PORT ANGELES ON FRIDAY NIGHT WITH HIM? HE TOLD ME BECAUSE HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING LOSER. IF I EVER SEE YOU IM GONNA KILL YOU!

I sat crying at my computer for a long time after that. Never once did someone say something so horrible to me. Or threaten me like that. And she knew we were going to Port Angeles. Deep down I knew Jared didn´t tell her but whatever was going on was too much trouble. It was causing too much shit. I knew what I had to do.

Picking up my mobile phone I dialed Jared´s number and waited for him to pick up, which he didn´t. Seems like I would have to settle for sending him a message then.

_Jared. Tomorrows off. I can´t go out with you. I tried to call you to tell you in person but you didn´t answer. Kim._

A horrible wave of sadness crashed around me after I pressed send. Was I really doing the right thing? Why can´t I be braver? Why did I have to let that crazy bitch scare me into canceling? Sitting down on my bed I started to cry. I cried until I couldn´t anymore and exhaustion consumed me. I fell asleep on my bed, listening for a reply from him.

**Hope you enjoyed. Tell me what you think. Besos.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: I really hope you like. I have been neglecting my fanfics lately. Work and life needs looking after. So now I am trying to get back into the swing of things. For those of you who read Love will tear us apart. I will be posting a new chapter of that soon. I am finding it really difficult to finish and I want it to be as true to what I imagine in my crazy head as possible. So enjoy a chapter of probably my favourite couple. Jared and Kim. Happy reading and stay tuned.**

I was woken out of my sleep by the familiar Ghostbusters ringtone of my Blackberry. I felt so groggy and my head was pounding. It was totally dark in my bedroom and it seemed that my mom had been in to close the curtains. Groping on the floor beside my bed I found my cell. It was Jared. I stared at it for a while before I answered.

"Hello." Eugh! Why does my voice have to sound so gross?

"Kim! What happened? I mean…." He sounded so nervous and a bit angry. When he spoke again it seemed that he was making a great effort to talk normally. "…I sent you like a million messages and.." He let out a deep breath. "….why did you cancel? Is it because of all the stuff people have told you about me?"

"Listen I…I dunno Jared. I just don´t think it´s such a good idea."

"It is a good idea! Come on Kim. I promise you won´t regret it. I swear you´ll have a good time. The best time!"

"It´s not about whether or not I´ll have a good time Jared. Jesus…do you really not understand?"

"I do understand Kim! I know what Tania, Vanessa and Jolene have been telling you. I thought that….you could see what was real and what wasn´t." Huh?

"And I should just ignore them right? Because what you say is the truth and the rest are lying? Is that it?"

"No…I…I just want you to believe me when I tell you that this is real Kim. You know it is. We both do."

"Real….Jared….what´s real is that today I have faced at least four girls who you have screwed. Two of which wanted to hurt me."

"What?" He said dangerously. "Who wanted to hurt you?"

"I think you can figure it out on your own Jared. By the way, tell your psycho girlfriend never to contact me again."

"Devon contacted you? So that´s why you were…..She´s not my girlfriend anymore. I swear."

"She doesn´t seem to think so. How does she even know about me?"

"I don´t know."

"Maybe you told her?" I mocked viciously, feeling the need to cry again. "Did she and you have a good time laughing at me? At how stupid I am for falling for your bullshit?"

"Listen Kim, I´m coming over to see you."

"No you´re not. Just leave me the hell alone Jared. Don´t come near my house."

"Please Kim." He was begging now. "You have got this all wrong."

"No…it´s all right."

Then I hung up. And he didn´t call again. Although he did send me one simple message about ten minutes after the call.

_It´s real. We both know it._

Real….fake….real….fake….

Is real a word that was easily tossed out like fake is? Was I being fake denying what I felt by denying him?

What did I want? I knew I wanted Jared but it was impossible the way in which I wanted him. Which was on my terms. Which was having Jared with none of the baggage he came with. I had always known about the other girls, I had known that he had slept around. If he says that he wants only me now then why was I judging him by what he did in the past? He didn´t do any of that shit since his sudden interest in me. I wasn´t being fair.

But the suddenness was something that was still bothering me. It took only one glance in that history class for him to come sniffing around me. It wasn´t the first time he had looked at me. That our eyes had met. But it was the first time maybe since he had changed that he had. The change as well was another mystery. One that worried me since he disappeared and reappeared all He Man last July. There was something more to him now. Something that he said he would share with me. I wonder if it´s steroids. Nah…Jared is not the type.

But I knew that whatever had went down between us during that phone call was not the end of what´s going on. He said so himself. I just can´t for the love of God understand why I am so important to him. What the hell is so special about me?

I turned on my bedside lamp and changed into my pyjamas. In the total silence of the night I could hear those strange wolf howls that had seemed to have grown more prevailant over the past few months. They weren´t scary, in fact, they were strangely comforting. But the loudest howl was like one of pain, making my chest ache a lot.

"I´m sorry Jared." I whispered stupidly. Jared? He´s not the friggin´ wolf.

Knowing that I wouldn´t be able to sleep for another while I made some hot milk and sat at my desk and looked out the window. The moon caste a lovely silver light over the ocean. I wondered how Jared was really feeling over all of this. Maybe he was a nut job akin to Patrick Bateman and this was some elaborate plan he concocted to up his game. Could he even feel anything when it came to girls? Has he genuinely ever liked anyone of us? If he did then he wouldn´t have been so cruel in the past.

There was a lot of questions that needed answering about him. Answers that I needed if I were to have any peace.

Taking my cell I messaged Jared. Maybe he´s gone to bed. I mean, it is like four in the morning.

_If I overreacted I´m sorry. But you have to understand where I am coming from. This is too strange._

I had to wait all of thirty seconds before he answered me.

_I´m sorry Kim. I do understand, trust me. I don´t blame you for not wanting me with all my history. It´s too much to ask of you._

Huh…is this some sort of a guilt trip message? Well if it was then it was working.

_When your history is staring me in the face or messaging me it bothers me. I´m sorry Jared but there is something going on that I don´t know about and that you are not telling me. If you won´t tell me then you might as well move on to your next girl._

_Let me come to yours to talk to you._

_No!_

_I´ll tell you Kim. I promise. I swear. But not now. I can´t now._

_You can. Please Jared._

_Tomorrow. After we go out._

_No. I´m not going anywhere with you until you tell me what´s going on._

_You´re not ready to know now._

That really pissed me off. I called him then.

"Kim…"

"Listen Jared. If you are not going to tell me what the hell is going on then you might as well forget about having any type of relationship with me."

"I am going to tell you. I will tell you. Just now is not the right time. Please trust me on this Kim. You have to."

"I don´t have to do anything Jared. You….you know I like you. But it is really hard for me to believe that you like me, you know?" He sighed heavily down the line after I had finished and didn´t say anything for a long time.

"You have no idea how much I like you Kim. But I wanted to make a start by taking you out. There is more to this, you´re right, and I will tell you. Just trust me that now is not the best time."

"You are asking a lot Jared. I really want to trust you but I don´t know if I can. I…I don´t think that this is right. Me and you I mean. We are not right for each other." It hurt me so much saying that….I must be the biggest coward on the planet. Self disgust gripped me as the tears started to shed.

"We are perfect for each other Kim." Jared stated adamantly yet softly. His voice a wonderful caress that made me feel warm but scared shitless at the same time. I was scared of this weird power that he had over me.

"No….we are not….Just find someone different to play with Jared."

"You are the only girl for me Kim."

"Don´t lie to me like that." I begged, feeling some more salty tears roll down my cheeks.

"It´s the truth."

"You´re sick. You don´t mean any of this stuff." I felt some strange anger build up inside of me. "Leave me the hell alone!" And then I hung up on him for the second time. Well that did it. My chance with Jared is officially over. Done. It´s done. I did it. But why did I do it? What the hell did I just do?

Hearing the loudest, angriest howl rip through the woods made me almost jump out of my skin. That was close. Too close.

"Dad! Mom!" I heard Josh´s terrified shout from his bedroom which was next to mine. Hastily I turned off my lamp and dove under the covers of my bed. I was shaking I was so terrified.

"Josh! It´s okay!" My dad´s no nonsense voice answered him from the hall. Getting out of bed I opened by bedroom door by a couple of inches and saw my dad marching down the hall with his hunting rifle in his hands.

"Dad! No!" I screeched. He can´t kill the wolf! He can´t! I don´t know why but all I know that it is important that he doesn´t.

"Go back to bed Kimi." He said without looking at me, checking the ammo.

"It´s against tribal law to kill wolves! You know that! Dad please!" I begged, running up to him, trying to take the gun from him.

"I´m not going to kill it. I´m just going to fire some shots into the air to scare it away. Those animals are dangerous."

"Maybe it´s gone you know?" I tried desperately.

"Kim!" My dad growled dangerously. "Don´t make me tell you twice."

"Dad…please." I whispered imploringly at him. He shook his head and marched past me towards the front door with me hot on his heels.

"Kim I swear to God if you do not get back in the house you are grounded. Understand young lady?" He yelled, totally pissed off now.

"Yes sir." I muttered, defeated. I bypassed my mother in the hall and wrapped my blanket around me as soon as I got into bed. The feeling of fear for the poor wolf had subsided considerably. I knew it was gone.

I jumped again for the second time as I heard my dad fire two warning shots into the air. The silence that followed that was deafening. This is going to cause a lot of talk tomorrow and I knew that we were going to get a call anytime soon from the rez police if someone had reported the shots, that is if my dad doesn´t call them first.

This has to be the most horrible day of my entire existence.

"Kimi?" I heard my mom whisper as she opened the door to my bedroom.

"Yeah mom?"

"You and Josh can stay off school tomorrow okay. You have been looking a bit tired recently and Josh won´t be able to go back to sleep after this."

"Thanks mom." And I was so so grateful to her for doing this. She doesn´t know how much she has helped me. If there was one person in the world who completely got me then it was my mom.

"No problem dear. Try and get some sleep."

"Night mom. I love you."

"I love you too dear. And don´t worry too much about a certain boy." And with that she quietly closed the door after her and I was left alone in the dark. I´ll try not to worry mom. But that is easier said than done.

I didn´t know what time I fell asleep at but when I awoke I had a horrible headache. Stretching out in bed I gradually became aware of the sound of the rain draining away in the gutters and the TV off in the living room. It was so nice being able to sleep in. I stretched out again and then lay completely still as the memories of the early morning resurfaced. Groaning I covered myself with my blanket.

Jared…

Getting up I stumbled over to my desk to get my cell. I had a couple of missed calls from Yoli and Saff. Nothing from Jared. He must hate me now. No Kim! Don´t message him! Don´t play stupid games. You made yourself perfectly clear before.

After I took my shower and got dressed I headed to the kitchen to get some breakfast. I was surprised to see that my mom had already left for work.

"Hey Josh." I yelled into the living room.

"What?"

"Do you want to play Guitar Hero?"

"Okay. When?"

"When I finish my breakfast."

"Okay. I´ll set it up."

"What time did mom leave?" I asked, my mouth full of buttery toast.

"Just before you got up. The wolf was scary last night wasn´t it? Mom and dad said I can´t go outside on my own."

"Sure was scary."

"Is Jared still taking us to the cinema?" Shit! I forgot about that.

"I don´t know Joshie."

"Because if he doesn´t I´m gonna tell mom and dad that you two were kissing." He can be the biggest twerp when he wants to be.

"Josh. Do you really want me to get into trouble?" He looked at me pensively for a while before looking a bit put out.

"´Suppose not. Is Jared your boyfriend?"

"No." I wish he was though.

"Because Brian said that Jared was telling his mom and dad that you are his girlfriend or printed or something." I almost choked on my toast with that bit of news. He actually said that?

"W-what?"

"Does that mean that Brian will be my brother? Because he´s not my best friend. My best friend is Jordan. And he doesn´t have any brothers."

So Josh and I had an epic round of Guitar Hero which he beat me easily at. Not surprising since my mind was somewhere else and I always let him win because he went into such a sulk when he didn´t.

After we had finished our lunch and he was playing Wii Frisbee I retreated to my bedroom to read. Halfway through a very exciting chapter of Game of Thrones: Dance with Dragons the door bell rang. I was expecting Saff with my homework for the weekend. I couldn´t shake some weird feeling though.

As I opened the door I was stunned into speechlessness by finding Jared´s huge figure standing in the doorway instead of Saff´s tiny one. It was pouring outside and he was drenched, wearing only jeans and a long sleeved blue t-shirt that clung to his amazingly athletic form. We stared at each other for a long time before he broke the silence.

"I brought you your homework."

"I was expecting Saffron."

"I convinced her to let me bring it to you."

"Okay."

We stood there looking at each other as another long silence lapsed between us. He made no move to hand over any homework.

"Are you feeling okay? I mean, you don´t usually miss that much class." His voice was full of concern.

"Yeah, I feel fine. I was just a bit tired."

"Late night?" He asked, without a hint of sarcasm. I eyed him strangely.

"You know it was."

"I´m sorry about that. About what happened. Believe me."

"Okay." I muttered again, this time to my sock clad feet.

"Can I come in? Can we talk? Properly this time?"

"Jared…." I didn´t know what the hell to do. I settled for opening the door wider and standing aside so he could come in. I headed towards my bedroom and Jared followed. Once inside he looked about with interest. Like he was cataloging everything inside.

"So you wanted to talk?" I asked. Sitting down on my bed. He eyed the space beside me for a while before settling down on my desk chair.

"I wanted to say sorry. About last night. I shouldn´t have called you up in the middle of the night like some stalker. It´s just…when I saw your message I had to know what happened."

"You know what happened."

"Kim…I can´t change my past. But I am not a bad person for having sex."

"You lied to those girls."

"I didn´t lie to anyone. Vanessa knew that what was going on didn´t go beyond sex. Jolene included. Tania…well, that was a bit different. I won´t lie about that. Turns out I just didn´t want her in the end." He was being so candid about the whole thing that it was making me a bit uncomfortable.

"And me?"

"And you…." He seemed a bit dazed as his eyes roamed my face before settling back on my eyes. "I want to be yours. If you´ll have me."

"What about Devon?" I asked instead on answering him.

"That´s finished. I swear. What did she tell you?"

"That doesn´t matter."

"Matters to me Kim." I shook my head and fingered my bedspread.

"This is just too much for me Jared." I told him honestly.

"Am I scaring you? If I am then I am sorry. I realize that this seems strange. That I am strange."

"You´re not strange. Just the whole situation is. I mean, this has gone so fast."

"So you want to take things slow? I´m cool with that."

"I mean I need some time."

"I´ll give you all the time you need."

"Why is this so important to you?"

"Because it´s you Kim."

"Because it´s me." I repeated in a whisper.

"Yes you. I know you don´t really want to talk so…I´ll head if you want. I need to go to Port Angeles and get a new cell."

"What happened to your old one?"

"I broke it. Accidently of course. I´ll send you the number as soon as I have it. If you have a problem or if you change your mind about going out with me tonight just let me know." He stood up and looked out my window. "I´m sorry again."

"What about my homework?" I asked in a rush. Not really wanting him to leave.

"Oh right!" He rummaged through his backpack and produced a couple of sheets of paper. "We still need to work on the history project."

"I finished my part yesterday. I´ll email it to you. Or I can print it off now."

"You finished?" He asked a bit disbelievingly.

"Yeah. That´s a good thing right?"

"Sure." I took the papers from him, careful not to touch his fingers again. God knows what that would lead to.

"Well so…see you." I said awkwardly as I hoped off my bed and headed towards the door.

"Do you want to do something tomorrow? Like take a walk or something?"

"I have plans." Was he really not getting it? Or was I not getting it?

"On Sunday?"

"I´m visiting my Grandparents out in the Hoh rez."

"A busy day then." Again, he seemed oddly detatched.

"Yeah. A busy weekend."

"Promise me you´ll keep safe. And I know I sound like crazy but if you need me, or feel like you need to see me, just call me okay."

"Okay."

As we got to the front door he nodded at me and left into the pouring rain.

I restrained myself from calling out after him. He looked back only once. He didn´t smile. His eyes did all the talking. He was not going to back down.

**Thanks for reading and have a great night or day depending on where you are. Besos.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Hope you all enjoy! For those of you who are ready Love will tear us apart, I am currently working on the next chapter and I hope to put it up in a couple of days. Thanks and have a great Easter Week!**

On Friday night as I sat studying at my desk I reflected sadly that at this moment I could be on a date with the guy that I was inexplicably in love with and terrified of at the same time. I had even chosen the perfect outfit which was going to waste now hanging in my closet with all my other nice things that I was too chicken to wear sometimes. What the hell in wrong with me? Why do I think people would laugh at me for wearing cool clothes? Why do I have this fear of being judged as being inferior when I am not?

At around four Jared had sent me his new number along with a renewed invitation to go out with him tonight. A message I didn´t respond to. I wasn´t being mean doing it. I just didn´t want to play any games until I figured out what I wanted to do. I didn´t want to give any false impressions you know? I wasn´t like that.

Another couple of hours passed as I committed to memory the quotes we had to learn for English on Hamlet. The crap that was biology and chemistry. Trying to enhance my French, which was my best subject, I listened to some songs by Francois Hardy and sang along to Voyage, voyage and Ella elle la. It was my dream to go to France. See Paris and explore the medeterrainian south like in some cheesy movie. As I listened to the last few lines of Ella elle la I felt some alien emotion starting to come to life inside of me.

"Oh God!" I growled in frustration in a sudden rush, snapping my laptop shut and pacing the small floor space in my room. What the fuck is wrong with me? Where the hell did that come from? I was starting to scare myself. I eyed my cell and snatched it off my desk. With shaking fingers I typed a message.

"The math homework was difficult, wasn´t it?" I sent it to Jared cursing myself for not writing something that would´t make me sound like a complete nerd. After couple of seconds I felt a strange sense of relief flow through me and another couple of seconds later I got Jared´s reply.

"What we are doing now in class is pretty difficult. I could come over and help you with it if you want?" I really wanted to see him but my dad would go nuts if Jared came over here at this hour.

"I got through it already." I typed back. Eughhh Kimi! You are such a social retard! Why can´t you say something cool?

"If you need any help just let me know. Math is my best subject. I was wondering if you could help me with French? Since you are great at it." So he noticed that? We were in the same French class and he definitely didn´t need any help.

"I suppose I could." I answered him.

"Great. I´ll come over now." What? My heart started to hammer in dread.

"It´s too late!"

"It´s only nine!"

I really really wanted to see him. I was torn.

"I have to ask my parents."

I left my bedroom and found my parents seated on the sofa watching a movie with Josh.

"Em Mom, Dad?"

"Yes Kimi?" My mom answered, not really paying attention to me.

"Is it…is it….is it okay if Jared comes over to study?" Please say no…please say yes….

"It´s too late." My dad informed me, sounding a bit too stern.

"It´s fine Kim. Tell him he can come over. But you have to leave your bedroom door open." My mom said, her eyes smiling.

"Mary! It is too late!"

"We know Jared! He is hardly a stranger John!"

"Fine! It isn´t like anybody listens to me in this house anyway!" My dad huffed. Is he for real? He rules this house with an iron fist!

"Okay…thanks…I´ll tell him he can come over then." Fuck! Did I really want this?

"You can come over. See you soon."

"Great! I´ll be over in about twenty minutes."

I brushed my teeth and changed my sweater into something I hoped was nicer. I was getting that weird feeling again and about fifteen minutes later the door bell rang.

"Hey Kim." He looked so good, and as he stepped closer I could notice that he smelled like he had just took a shower. That fresh scent of shower gel and deodorant. So manly that it made my belly tightened a little.

"H-hey. Come in." I said, so embarrassed at the reaction that he could provoke so easily in me.

"Thanks for helping me Kim." He said, smiling gently at me. His dark eyes were glittering with unconcealed excitement.

"It´s not like you need the help." I told him, knowing perfectly well that he didn´t really want to come here to study. "You´re a straight A student."

"You can see right through me, can´t you?" He answered me quietly.

"I don´t know." He was looking at me that way again, making me feel on fire. "Do…do you want something to drink? Or to eat?"

"A glass of water would be nice."

"Okay."

"Is that Jared?" My dad asked from the living room. I could hear him getting up and heading towards us.

"Yes dad."

"Hi Mr. Carillo." Jared greeted him confidently.

"Isn´t it a little late to want to be studying?" Dad questioned him. Obviously seeing right through to the real reason Jared was here.

"I needed Kim´s help. She is the smartest girl in school." I felt my cheeks burn when he said that. My dad seemed slightly mollified with his compliment to me and nodded.

"Don´t be here too long. It is pretty late."

"Yes Sir."

"Keep your door open Kim. Did you offer Jared anything to eat?"

"She did. Thanks."

"Okay. Work hard." And he left to watch the rest of the movie with mom and Josh.

"You can head straight to my room. I´ll get you your water. Are you sure you´re not hungry?"

"I´m sure. I had a big dinner. Thanks Kim."

When I got to the bedroom with his glass of water and one for myself I found Jared looking at a collage I had made of me and my friends at the end of August.

"That´s really neat? You made it right? I can tell."

"Yeah, I made it at the end of the summer."

"Seemed like a pretty fun summer." Please don´t look at the picture of me in the bikini, I prayed.

"It was."

"You´re so creative. You did these as well." He nodded towards the small water colors of animals I had framed over my bed in a row.

I really liked painting, and making things. I would like to study art but my parents had different ideas.

"Those are mine too." I said a bit red faced at the way Jared stared at them with his critical eye.

"This one is my favorite." He indicated my take on the Quileute wolf.

"Why?" He froze for a moment then shrugged.

"Just is. It´s beautiful. All of them are."

"Do you want it?" I asked, taken aback by the honesty in his voice.

"You sure you want to give it to me?" Gosh, he sounded like I was giving him a Botticelli instead of a stupid little picture that I had painted in my free time.

"If you like it. Here…" I knelt on my bed and took the picture down from the wall and handed it to him. He handled it like it was something sacred.

"I´ll put it on my wall as soon as I get home." He vowed seriously. "Thank you so much Kim."

"It´s not that good Jared."

"It is Kim. I´ll give you something soon. I promise."

"You don´t have to give me anything!" I rushed to tell him in embarrassment. He smiled at me happily, making me feel like melting into a pool on the floor. I couldn´t stop my own smile from spreading across my face.

"If the promise of a present makes you smile like that then it´s a given."

"Come on." I groaned.

"Sorry." He laughed a little. "I forgot about not making you feel uncomfortable."

"It´s okay."

"I like your room a lot Kim. It´s really cool. All your things. Your activities. Your smell."

"Again with the smell?" I was horrified.

"Believe me, it´s not a bad thing. You smell great." He breathed in deep and looked oddly satied. "Peoples rooms show what kind of person they are." Jared continued, looking around again. He settled his stare on me again. "Your room says so much."

"Like what?"

"You´re shy. You´re not given to outward appearances. This room, it´s like being inside your head. All the wonderful things about you, all the things you keep hidden, are put here. Like your paintings, your art, your music, your tastes, your dreams. This is your haven. Where you can be that person you really are without feeling you are being judged."

"You´re reading too much into this." I laughed awkwardly, freaked that he could read me so easily.

"I don´t think so."

"So…..what does your room say about you?" I asked, wanting to take the focus off myself.

"You can tell me."

"I´ve never seen it."

"You can come over and see it whenever you want. Just give me some notice so I can clean it."

"I´ll keep that in mind. So…French." I took some clothes from the extra chair I had in my room and sat down at the desk, giving Jared the better chair.

"I can use that one Kim." Jared said, not sitting down.

"You might break it." It was made of wicker and I knew it wouldn´t take Jared´s weight. He sat down beside me and took out his French book from his backpack.

"Do you feel like conjugating some verbs?" He asked.

"Sure."

"Or we can listen to some music?" He said, looking for my reaction. I felt very uneasy. Like he knew more than was letting on.

"What type of music do you want to listen to?" I asked, flipping through my French book and not making eye contact.

"Like French Gall or something like that?" He suggested. I felt my heart beat faster. He heard me listening to it. I knew it…"Are you okay Kim?"

"N…yeah. Yes I am fine." I told him a bit unsteadily.

"Doesn´t sound like it."

"Remember when you told me you would tell me what is going on with you?" I looked into his eyes which were a bit panicked although his face remained a calm mask.

"I remember."

"Well….it´s Friday night. You´re here."

"I thought we were supposed to be studying French?"

"We both know that that´s not why you came here."

"You´re right. I wanted to see you, not to study."

"I knew that already. So tell me."

"Kim…please…it´s not the right time. Believe me."

"If you´re not going to tell me then you can leave."

"I´m not leaving like this. Listen….tomorrow night…I´ll tell you then."

"Tomorrow night is Halloween and I am going to a party. You know that!"

"After the party then. Meet me after and I´ll tell you. I promise."

"It´s something important, isn´t it?"

"It is. And I…I´m afraid that when I tell you that….that you´ll freak out on me."

"Freak out how?"

"Kim….please…" He took my hands in his. The fire ignited again, making me feel a bit breathless. "You feel it right?"

"I do." I couldn´t lie to him. "I feel it."

"I hate myself for never wanting to see you like the way I see you now."

"You don´t have to apologize for something you didn´t feel. Do you think I hate you because you never noticed me before?"

"You´re mad at me for that."

"I´m not Jared. I´m mad at myself for being too scared to even try and approach you or to even talk to you. I´m just…" I couldn´t finish. I looked into Jared´s eyes imploringly. Asking him to understand.

"You´re scared that this isn´t real because it happened so suddenly. A bit too suddenly. Am I right?" I nodded. "There is a reason for that, I promise."

"Something you can´t tell me about now?"

"Not now. Do you believe in fate?"

"I don´t know."

"Don´t think that I haven´t noticed you before…even if I haven´t talked to you much. Please don´t think that."

"What have you noticed about me?"

"How cute you are. I had always wondered why you were so quiet. Why you didn´t talk so much or didn´t do the same shit as the rest of us here. Why you never had a boyfriend. Why you weren´t full of it like some of the other smart girls here, like your friend Saffron for example. You just tried to fade into the background. I remember one time, when you wore a pair of super tight jeans to school school last May. It hit me how hot you were becoming. But you were still trying to hide it so I made no move. Because Kim isn´t the type of girl who would sleep with you after a couple of compliments you know. Because I knew I would have to give you more than I was ready to offer you then. I knew I couldn´t play the same stupid game with you like I did with other girls. You are one of the good ones. One of the wifey ones as Paul would say."

"And you are ready to give me that stuff now?"

"I am. Like I said before, I´m all yours. I am ready. But I don´t know if you are ready. I want to get to know you and I want you to know me, the real me. Not asshole me from school. I think that I´m an okay guy when it really comes down to it. If you give me the chance I´ll show you that. I´ll go at whatever pace you want, you can make all the decisions. I just need to be near you. I want to be close to you."

"And you have really broken up with Devon?"

"Yep. Right after that history class I told her that it was finished. Thank God as well. She was really beginning to bug me."

"And she knew about the other girls?"

"She did. She didn´t really care. She had other guys as well. Our relationship was seriously fucked up. It was a game. She got off on hearing about what I got up to with the others…..am I grossing you out?" YES! He must have noticed the horrified expression I was wearing.

"And this is not a game?"

"No way. I´d never play games with you."

"You promise me?"

"I promise you. I´d do anything for you Kim." He breathed, caressing my hands with his own, larger ones.

"Because you know I like you….I like you a lot. And if this turns out to be some sick joke then you can expect my dad to come and kill you."

"That won´t happen because I´d never do something like that to you."

"And you´ll give me time?"

"I´d do that."

"And you´ll really tell me tomorrow?"

"I will." He seemed saddened and I was overcome with pity. I took my hands out of his and placed my hands on his knees.

"Because whatever is happening, I want it to be true so bad."

"It is true Kim." He ran his hands up my arms, feeling so warm, I wanted to melt into him. He drew me into him and I wrapped my arms around his waist. With Jared´s wrapped around my shoulders. I could hear his heart beating so fast. He was so warm, he felt so right.

"Whatever it is you have to tell me….I promise I won´t get freaked out." I promised him, feeling that that was what he really needed to hear now. He backed away a little and looked at me fully. He cupped my face and caressed my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I won´t hold you to that but thank you." He gazed at my face for a while, setting his eyes on my lips. "I don´t think I can go a day without kissing you." He told me in that sex drip voice that made me instantly get aroused. It was such a beautiful feeling, but it was a feeling that needed to be explored. It needed satisfying.

Seconds later our lips connected. Another couple of seconds later our tongues met. Feeling totally disconnected from everything else but him I explored the depth of my desire for him by thrusting my tongue farther into his mouth. He groaned and drew me out of the chair and into his strong arms. Standing up he held me flush against him. My excitement was growing and growing, and judging by the giant boner I could feel pressed against my belly, Jared´s was already there.

Trembling with excitement and years of built up sexual desire for him I felt like I was finally coming to life. As he held me firm in his strong arms I wanted nothing more than to be naked under him, having him explore my body and me explore his.

I let my greedy hands run through his silky, short hair then over his rock hard biceps and chest. A weak grunt escaped his lips as I broke off from his mouth and started to kiss and bite on his neck.

"Kim…." He whispered, loosening his hold on me and letting slide down. As soon as my feet touched the floor I knew he wanted to stop. "Your folks are in the other room….." I mumbled in agreement as I stood on my tippy toes and continued to nip and kiss on his neck and jaw. "I can´t do this Kim." He broke off altogether. I was devastated.

"But….what did I do?" I whispered. "Did I do it wrong or.."

"You did nothing wrong!" He whispered back, looking a bit angry. I was totally confused.

"Then why did we stop?" He seemed so torn as he corrected the giant bulge in the front of his jeans.

"Because I promised myself I wouldn´t do this until I told you everything. I can´t have you hating me."

"I could never hate you."

"You say that now but…." He screwed up his face in anguish. "I should go."

"But Jared….you don´t have to…." I begged. He shook his head and I felt like a complete idiot.

"Listen Kim….tomorrow night I´ll tell you. Then you can decide if you want to take things further."

"How important is what you have to tell me?"

"Very important. And you have to promise me that whatever I tell you stays between you and me. You can´t tell anyone else."

"I promise."

"Believe me Kim…" He gathered his books and the picture I gave him and stored them in his backpack. "There is nothing more that I want to stay here with you and…continue….but I can´t. I´m not going to take advantage of you."

"But I wanted to do what we just did."

"You are so sweet you know that?" He cupped my face again and stared into my eyes. "You are the most precious person to ever walk this earth." I couldn´t say anything as he backed away again and headed towards my door.

"I´ll meet you tomorrow night at the party. I´ll show you what´s so important. I´m as good as my word Kim."

"Bye then…" I said, rooted to the spot.

"´night Kim."

And he left. I heard him say goodnight to my parents and then the front door quietly open and close. He had left me in the most agonized state that I have ever been in.

So tomorrow…..tomorrow I would have all the answers.

As I got ready for bed I could hear the wolves howling again. My eye automatically went to the space where my wolf painting used to hang.

My brain was making some sort of connection that I couldn´t fully get a grasp on. Fleeting ideas and images ran through my mind as I tried to figure out and piece together all the little snippets of information that it was presenting.

Tomorrow….he had promised me….

**Remember to review. It makes everything better. Thanks and besos.**


	10. Chapter 10

**chapter 10. Hope you all enjoy. And yes. Kim does find out her beloved Jared´s secret. Happy reading and a big super thank you to all who took the time to review the last chapter. You are all great people. Besos.**

"Kim…..did you actually make out with him again?" Yoli asked me, incredulously. She started to snicker at me as she loaded the shopping cart with her favorite brand of chips.

"I couldn´t help it!" Yoli started to laugh now. "I´m being serious!"

"´Cause you got the hots for him bad. Reeeaaallll bad!" She taunted, smiling widely. "It´s finally happening Kim. Aren´t you happy?"

"I am. I mean….he said he´s going to tell me what´s going on."

"He´s changed so much. Not just the hair and the muscles. Alex says it´s like he´s aged ten years or something. He´s way more mature than he used to be. You know he drove out that meth dealer with Sam Uley and Paul Lahote last week?"

"He what?"

"Yeah! The council wants to keep that under wraps though but Alex found out through the grapevine. Why do you think we´re having to do all this drug awareness stuff now?"

"Holy shit! He could have gotten hurt! What if the guy had a gun or something?" I said in a panic. Yoli put her arm around my shoulders and led me towards the sodas.

"Have you seen the size of Jared? I suppose you have….making out with him and stuff."

"Yoli….stop!" I giggled, remembering his gigantic boner from last night.

"You know that half the girls at school are going to hate you for snagging him right? So…..have you finally decided on what you are going to wear? We only have a couple of hours."

"Saffron is going to kill me but I can´t wear stockings and suspenders. I know it will get back to my folks. I´ll put some of my ballet stuff together and see how it goes."

"Jared might appreciate it if you dress sexy."

"I don´t have the guts."

"Where are you going with him afterwards? Did he tell you?"

"I don´t know. I never asked." I frowned.

"Well if you go missing then we know who was the last person with you."

"Thanks a bunch Yoli…don´t make me even more nervous!"

"Hi Kim!" I bright, familiar voice said from behind me. Yoli´s eyes widened in shock then darted to the sodas in embarrassment.

"Oh….hi Emily." I said without enthusiasm. Emily Young. Despite the scars she was still pretty but….this was the girl who stole Sam from Leah….and was now inexplicably living in La Push with Sam. I do feel sorry for the girl but the whole situation just weirded me out. Did they not care that they were rubbing Leah´s nose in it?

"How are you?" She was looking at me strangely. A bit expectantly. Oh God take me out of this situation.

"Fine. You?" I took a bottle of Cola from the shelf and placed it in my cart.

"Good. Good. Jared talks about you non-stop." Yoli and I made eye contact. Silently acknowledging the strangeness of the situation.

"Okay." I nodded, not wanting to take the conversation any further. A second later Sam Uley rounded the corner, wrapping his arms around Emily and fixing me with a creepy stare.

"Hello Kim." His deep, gruff voice greeted me. I hadn´t talked to Sam in ages it seemed. Not since he was with Leah. I had always thought that he was so nice. But all I saw in front of me was a cheating asshole.

"Hi." I said in a quiet voice, not making eye contact with him.

"How is your family? Are they doing well?"

"They are fine. How´s Leah?" I asked spitefully. Yoli sniggered which she tried to hide by coughing. Sam instantly turned hard faced. It looked like he was going to say something but instead he just gently pulled Emily away from us.

"I know what you think Kim." Emily said sadly. "But there is more to it. You´ll know soon enough. I hope you understand."

"Bye Emily." I turned away from her and stared into the shopping cart, ashamed of my behavior. I was on Leah´s side. She needed someone in her corner since the two people she had trusted the most betrayed her.

"Bye Kim." Emily said. I heard her walk away.

"You shouldn´t have been so mean Kim. It doesn´t suit you." Yoli reprimanded me.

"I know. I shouldn´t have said that." I bit my lip and looked back at Emily´s retreating figure. Sam locked eyes on me, looking totally pissed. This would so get back to Jared. I mouthed sorry at him and he nodded minutely.

"Kimimela!" Holy fuck! Marcii Cameron, Jared´s mom, was making a beeline towards me, wheeling her shopping cart in front of her like a steam engine. She was beaming a mega watt smile at me which scared me a little.

"H-hello Mrs. Cameron." I stuttered, which made Yoli giggle.

"Call me Marcii dear. How are you? Hello Yolanda."

"Hi Mrs. Cameron." Yoli responded to her brightly.

"So…what are you girls up to?" She asked only to me.

"Just buying some food." I said, sweating a little. This was Jared´s mom. She had never been like this with me before.

"You know you can come over anytime you want Kimimela. For lunch or dinner. I know Jared´s dying to have you over."

"Oh! Oh…okay." I said like a complete retard, completely shocked.

"Perfect! Tonight then." Oh God!

"I can´t…but thank you. I-I´m going to a party."

"Before then, for a little snack." She persisted.

"Thanks but I´m eating at Yolanda´s house."

"Tomorrow. I´ll make a casserole." She pinched my cheek and Yolanda started to shake with uncontrolled laughter.

"I´m sorry but I´m visiting my Grandparents for the day."

"Soon then. Monday. You can´t be doing anything special then. I´ll call your parents and tell them that you are coming over."

Sweet Jesus in heaven she was just like Jared. That must be where he got it from. The not taking no for an answer. The persistence until he got what he wanted. The statements instead of questions. I was trapped. She knew it and I knew it.

"O-okay. Thank you Mrs. Cameron." She smiled widely at me. Her eyes were gentle.

"You´ve turned into such a lovely young women. I am so happy that Jared has found you."

"We´re not going out." I said, mortified.

"Not yet you´re not." Yoli said. I knew she was loving this. I gave her the shut the fuck up eyes.

"But Jared said…" Mrs. Cameron looked a bit embarrassed then shook her head as if she was trying to clear it. "So Monday. You´ll have a lovely night. I´ll leave you two girls to your shopping. Have fun tonight."

"We will."

"Can I speak to Kim for a moment please Yolanda?"

"Yeah. Sure. I´ll be at the check outs Kim." Yolanda wheeled the cart away and left me Mrs. Cameron.

"I´m sorry if I put you on the spot Kim. It´s just that since Jared….told us that he really liked you well….he´s my eldest son and I want to see him happy. And since you, he´s the happiest I´ve ever seen him." Mrs. Cameron was being so honest.

"I-I don´t know what to say to that."

"Do you like him?" She asked.

"I do. I like him a lot."

"I know my son. I know his reputation with girls and don´t think for one minute that I am happy about that. And don´t think I would encourage this if I wasn´t one hundred percent certain that he wasn´t completely serious about you."

"I wouldn´t think that about you Mrs. Cameron."

"Thank you Kim. Go have fun tonight. And whatever Jared tells you tonight, just know that he would never hurt you. He´ll be the best protector that you could ever want." Huh?

After we said our goodbyes I joined Yoli at the checkout in a state of confusion. First Emily, then Sam and then Mrs. Cameron. It was like everyone who was close to Jared were ganging up on me, telling me how great he was and how much he liked me. The unknown importance of whatever Jared was going to tell me tonight was being to unnerve me.

* * *

Before we went to Yoli´s place we headed to mine to rummage through my closest for things to make up my outfit. We left with a giant duffel bag stuffed with clothes, shoes and make up. When we got to Yoli´s we had an eventful couple of hours trying to sew together scraps of material to make up her Sally costume from The Nightmare before Christmas and apply her make up while stuffing our faces with junk food.

After we finished with her costume we started on mine, which was a weird take on the Corpse bride meets Black Swan. After my skin started to itch under the white body paint we decided to keep the make up to a minimum which seriously took away from the whole creepy look.

"Wear this Kim." Yoli handed me a white lacy corset from her underwear drawer.

"When did you get this?" I asked, taking off my bra and putting it on. Yoli did up the hooks on the back. At least it made my boobs looked good.

"When I was dating Aaron. You look like Madonna from her like a Virgin phase."

"I should put something over it." I said as I stepped into my tutu.

"Take off the tutu and put on the white slip." I did as she commanded and she shook her head. She rummaged through the clothes that littered her bed and pulled out a long, shear ballet tutu. "Try this, with the white tights and the pointes."

"I´m not sure about the corset though."

"This is gonna take forever."

"How about I just wear a sheet over my head." I said in despair. I wanted to look perfect for Jared. Yoli noticed and sat me down on the bed.

"Do you trust me Kimi?"

"You know I do."

"Then take off everything and let me dress you."

"In what?"

"I thought you trusted me?"

"I do!"

"Then let me make you look amazing."

"You can´t!"

"Ugghhh!" Yoli bounded to her bedroom door and opened it a crack. "ALEX!" She yelled.

"WHAT?" He yelled back from what sounded like his bedroom. He turned his music down.

"DON´T YOU THINK KIM IS TOTALLY HOT!" I covered my face with my hands.

"SHE IS SO FUCKING HOT!" He answered before turning his music back up. Yoli looked at me, daring me to say anything else.

"Go ahead, make me look beautiful."

She smiled at me before closing the door.

"I´m gonna make you look so good that Jared will come in his pants when he sees you."

I was trembling as we entered Oliver Smith´s house and into the party that was already in full swing. Yoli dragged me along behind her in search of Saffron. It was always funny to see kids I went to school with dressed up in gaudy outfits. As I passed Quil Ateara dressed as Zorro he stared at my cleavage unabashed until Embry Call nudged him hard in the ribs when he saw that I had noticed.

"Hi Kim." It was Sonia Mara. She was a year younger and in my ballet class. She was wearing a black velvet, full bodied leotard and cat ears. Like me she was also wearing pointes. "You look great!"

"You look amazing Sonia!" Why couldn´t I have her confidence? I noticed Jacob Black look at her ass for quite a few seconds then start to yap on about some girl called Bella to Quil and Embry.

"Thanks." She was such a sweet girl. "I have never seen you dressed like this before. You look hot."

"Really?"

"Eh yeah! All these guys are drooling." I automatically adjusted the neckline of the long, sheer, pale mint nightdress that Yoli and I had recycled from her mother´s old things. "You look like a sexy Clara."

"You sure know how to pay a compliment Sonia." I smiled at her gratefully. She was going to say something to me until Embry shoved Jacob into Sonia, I guess on purpose, making her spill her drink.

"Watch it!" She snarled, rounding on the trio. "You guys are morons."

Jacob Black went red faced and Embry snorted with laughter.

"Ahh don´t be so mean Sonia!" Quil said, with a mock frown.

"Catch up with you later Sonia." I told her as I saw Saffron frantically beckoning me from the other side of the living room.

"Cool. Talk to you later. I want to get a picture of us together before one of these jerks ruins my costume."

"Kim! I thought you were going to wear stockings too!" Saffron said angrily, pulling down the ruffled skirt of her French maids outfit.

"I fucking am!" I said, a bit pissed. She could be so nervy sometimes. I pulled up the skirt a little and showed her the stockings.

"But they are hidden under the dress. God Kim!"

"What´s with you?"

"Nothing!" She snapped, looking a little put out as she crossed her arms. "You look nice."

"You do too. Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah. I brought vodka."

"I´ll get two glasses of cola."

"Get me orange."

"Okay orange." I rolled my eyes as I went in search of drinks.

I squeezed through the crowd and into the kitchen and grabbed two plastic cups which I filled with orange soda. As I was about to head back I felt my cell vibrate from the little pocket in the nightdress. Placing the cups on the kitchen counter I opened a message from Jared.

_"Hey there. Are you having fun? Who has the worst costume? I´ll be there in about an hour. Can´t wait to see you!"_

_"Gary Harrows is dressed as either the Hamburglar or a referee. I can´t decide. Either way it is just a black and white t-shirt. I can´t wait to see you either."_

_"See you soon Kimi. Don´t let any of those lecherous jerks give you any alcohol."_

_"I won´t. See you soon."_

Oh God. What if he thinks I look stupid? I looked down at my outfit. The satin teddy could be clearly seen under the nightdress, as well as the stockings. Where the fuck does Yoli buy these things? The string of pearls around my neck suddenly felt like it weighed a ton and I all of a sudden felt like a big fool. A walking joke. What if he laughed at me?

"Here´s your orange." I handed Saff the cup and sat down next to her on the window seat.

"What´s eating you?" She asked as she poured vodka into both of our cups.

"Nothing."

"Loverboy not coming?"

"He´s coming."

"Then what´s the matter?"

"Do I look stupid?"

"No. You look good."

"Where´s Matt?"

"He´s coming in about ten minutes with his friends."

"You want to dance?" I asked, noticing the limited space in the living room was filling up with kids grinding.

"Nah, my feet are killing me."

"Already?"

"These shoes are my sister´s. They are a size too small."

"Take them off."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Yoli came over to us with a joint and a happy smile on her face. She sat down heavily between us and took a long drag then offered it to me and and Saffron. I declined. My one experience with Marijuana left me violently ill and I didn´t want a repeat of that night. Saff took a small drag and kicked her shoes off.

"Where did you get that?" I asked Yoli over the blare of MSTRKRFT.

"From Alex. Sure you don´t want any?"

"Nah, I´m good."

"Don´t be so nervous." She laughed. "Saffi, do you know what happened at the store earlier?"

She proceeded to tell Saffron about all the crazy goings on at the store, which Safffron found amazingly funny. As they laughed and got stoned and drunk I felt my anticipation growing. That strange pulling that made me immediately think of Jared. Checking my watch I found that he would be here in about half an hour. Oh man…I was crazy nervous. I fidgeted with the pearls around my neck until Yoli made me stop.

Sonia Mara and a couple of other friends dragged me to dance and pose for pictures. Fifteen minutes later the feeling of nervousness was reaching such a peak that I dashed to the toilet to take a nervous pee. I stayed in there until someone was banging on the door to make me come out.

I knew Jared was here. I knew he was. I could feel him.

I navigated my way through the narrow hallway and back into the living room. I could feel eyes on me, Jared´s eyes. Oh God, please let me disappear. Please let this go okay. I saw Yoli making out with Oliver Smith and Saffron was nowhere to be found. Then I felt a hot hand brush my upper arm, leaving tingles in its wake. By instinct I placed my hand in his and turned around. His face was expressionless but his eyes danced with different, fleeting emotions.

"Hi." I said in a breathy voice. He smiled slightly.

"Hello." He just gazed down at me, content to just stand there holding my hand, or so it seemed. "Wanna go somewhere quieter?" It looked like the loud music was bothering him.

"Of course." He led me through various couples making out and kids dancing and into the kitchen and ultimately out onto the porch. The cold night made my skin come out in goose bumps.

"You´re cold Kim." He came beside me and put his arm around my shoulders, rubbing my arm.

"How can you be so warm?"

"High body temperature. Does it bother you?"

"Of course not."

"Good. I´m not surprised that you´re cold though." Jared turned me around, making me face him fully as he looked at my outfit. I felt my cheeks burn as I could feel his eyes heat up every part of my body that they touched. "Your costume is really pretty."

"Thank you." I had my face turned away from him. Jared touched my cheek and made me face him again, ever so gently.

"You look beautiful." He said with honesty. "You always do. I know you don´t feel comfortable in it though."

"You´re the one that can see right through me." I searched his eyes for something. For what I don´t know.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows and gave me a half smile.

"Jjjjareddd!" Alex burst through the back door totally wasted at raised his hand for a high five which Jared reluctantly gave.

"That hurt a bit man." Alex shook out his hand and took a swig of his drink. "Kim…you look hawt!" He winked at me and Jared growled lowly, freaking me out a little.

"Don´t fucking look at her that way!" Jared spat at Alex, shoving him into the wall.

"Jared! Stop!" Fuck…. "He´s my friend! He´s your friend!" I grabbed hold of his arm with both of my hands and tried to tug him away. It was impossible.

"Shit man! What´s the matter with you? You don´t even know Kim!" Alex stood upright, shocked into soberness and squared off with him. "She is too good for you."

"You know shit Alex!"

"I know that Devon still thinks that the two of you are going out."

"Listen Alex…" I started. Trying to calm the situation. "They have broken up. Why don´t you go and enjoy the rest of the party?"

"You deserve better than him Kim. Be fucking careful." Jared started to shake a little and when Alex went back inside, his shaking subsided.

"If anyone ever fucking looks at you like that again I swear…."

"What´s the matter with you?" What just went down had seriously shaken me.

"Sometimes I can´t control it…" He was breathing hard, and could barely make eye contact with me.

"You know you can tell me whatever is going on Jared." I took his hand and he snatched his hand back like I had scalded him.

"I can´t hurt you….if I ever did…." He was so pained, so torn.

"But….how could you hurt me? Why would you? You´re freaking me out." I wrapped my arms around myself for more than protection against the cold.

"I´m so afraid Kim. You have no idea."

"Tell me what´s happening Jared. Please…I don´t understand."

"I told you I would. I am. Not here though."

"Then let´s go." He contemplated me before nodding.

"Did you bring a coat or something?"

"Yeah, it´s inside. I´ll go get it."

"I´ll wait for you here."

I went inside and got my coat and said goodbye to Saffron and Yolanda. Yolanda told me to be careful and said that she´d call me in half an hour if I didn´t call her. I told her not to worry. Jared wasn´t going to murder me. I got back outside and buttoned up my coat. Jared was waiting for me at the bottom of the steps of the porch with a resigned expression. As I got to the top step he held out his hand and I took it, feeling his warmth and fire. I felt safe with him.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we headed down a small road towards the woods. I hated the woods. Ever since I got lost in them once when I was very young….the day my dog Lucky went missing…

"You okay? Are you scared?"

"No. I´m not. We´re not going into the woods are we?"

"Just a little bit in….to a clearing. Is that okay?"

"W-why do we have to go into the woods?" Jared stopped walking and pulled me into him.

"I´ll take you home."

"No! You´re going to tell me or I will never talk to you again!"

"Are you ready? I mean, I don´t know if you are."

"I don´t know if I am because I have no idea what you are going to tell me. If you don´t trust me then just call it quits now."

"Kim….come on then." He took hold of my hand again and led me into the woods. I could feel the cold damp seeping into my shoes, slowly freezing my feet.

"How much further?" I asked, creeped out being so far into the woods since I was a kid.

"Not much. Don´t worry. Nothing will hurt you here."

It was pitch black, the only light was from the full, fat white moon. It´s light barely breaking through the foliage of the trees. Jared walked a little in front of me, leading the way confidently as though he was walking in daylight. As I stumbled forward over a root or a rock Jared caught me before I could fall and gathered me up into his arms and held me.

"You don´t need to carry me. I´m too heavy." I started to squirm but Jared held on tight.

"You weight nothing. I don´t want you to fall and hurt yourself."

"I won´t."

"We´re here." He walked a couple of feet into the clearing. The moon casting it´s silvery glow gave it an almost magical appearance.

"Why here?" I asked. Jared placed me on my feet but didn´t let go of me.

"Because here is where it first happened." He whispered into my hair.

"What happened?" He went and stood in the centre of the small clearing.

"This is where I changed. Kim…when I tell you you won´t believe me but when I show you then…then you will."

"Changed how?"

"You know our legends right? You know the story of the wolves."

"The story goes that Taha Aki was the first Quileute to share the body of the wolf when Utlapa stole his physical form."

"Taha Aki was the first and he wasn´t the last. What more do you know? Come on, you´re a smart girl."

"Taha Aki defended the tribe from our enemies along with his sons who also could change."

"And what happened to Taha Aki in the end?"

"We don´t know what happened to him. He disappeared after the death of his wife. When she sacrificed herself for the tribe."

"Why did she sacrifice herself?"

"Because a cold one was threatening the village. Why are you asking me this?" I asked impatiently.

"Because it´s true Kim! It´s all true."

"But…how? They are just stories. You really took me here for this?" I felt very uneasy and totally confused.

"This is what I took you here for. You wanted to know. You need to know. I…have to show you something….and please don´t scream okay."

"What the fuck? Jared….I´m leaving." I turned and strode away from him with such anger and bitter disappointment. He was totally playing me for a fool and I was the bigger fool for letting him.

"Don´t Kim! Please!" He yelled after me! Something in his voice made me stop. I hesitated for a while but didn´t turn around. I could hear him moving about and then some real loud shuffling noises.

"Jared….I thought…I thought that…" I couldn´t find the words, I only stared into the dark trees. He didn´t say anything. He was just silent. As I turned around I did a double take and stepped backward in terror, tripping and landing painfully on my ass.

In front….in front of me, where Jared had stood only moments before stood a giant….creature. The size of a bear but it was a wolf…paralyzed with fear and shock I just stared and whimpered a little. What the….where is he? Where´s Jared? What the fuck is this thing? Oh God I´m gonna die here…..I know I am….I could feel my breath become more labored, I could feel my chest tightening. I could feel hot tears roll down my cheeks.

The beast cried softly and moved towards me, making me cry harder. I´m going to fucking die here. In the woods. Wearing fucking stockings and a teddy! Wearing Yoli´s mom´s old mint sex lingerie. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

My breath caught in my throat as the beast turned into a man…into…into Jared. A buck naked Jared. A panicked Jared. He hastily pulled on his clothes and ran towards me, searching my pockets for something….was he going to rob me then kill me? He forced something into my hand and to my mouth. My inhaler. I took a couple of shots while still maintaining a terrified eye contact with him. The asthma attack subsided but the fear didn´t.

"I´m sorry it had to be this way Kimi." He told me gently. "Just breath. Don´t worry. I´m so sorry. I´m so so sorry Kimi. I didn´t want to frighten you. Please…just breath." He held me tight as I started to shake and sob loudly. "I´m the biggest fucking dick in the world. Please….you don´t need to be scared. I would never hurt you."

"W-w-w-hat a-a-are y-y-y-you?" I stutter sobbed into his chest.

"I am what you saw with your own eyes. I am a shapeshifter. Please Kim….I am not a monster….please don´t think that I am."

"B-but how? I don´t….I don´t understand." I stared into Jared´s eyes, feeling nothing but utter confusion.

"Can I please tell you more some other time? Let me take you home."

"I can go home by myself." I stood up on shaky legs and backed away from him.

"No Kim. You´ll get lost in the woods." He stepped forward to take my hand but now it was my turn to snatch my hand away like I was the one that was scalded.

"Don´t.." I whispered. "Don´t come near me…." He looked utterly devastated. Like he might even cry. But I was the one to do so. I felt devastated. "What is this Jared?" I sobbed. "I have no idea what you are but how could you drag me into this? Why did you have to….why did I fall in love with you? And you let me….you kissed me and told me all the shit you knew I wanted to hear….you knew I fucking love you and still took advantage!" I screamed at him through my tears.

"That´s not how it is Kim!" Jared yelled back. He advanced towards me but I backed away even further.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" I screamed at him.

"I can´t!" He yelled again. "I won´t and you don´t understand!"

"I don´t want to understand anymore!" I turned and dashed through the woods. Stumbling a couple of times I grazed my knees and my hands on the forest floor but I didn´t stop running until I reached my house. It was in total darkness and I tip toed into the bathroom to strip and clean myself up. My knees and palms were a bloody mess. I ripped off the costume and smeared my make up around my face in some sort of strange fit. Totally naked I sat on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom and cried again.

Jared…..Jared what the hell are you? What the hell happened to you? I buried my head in my hands as those strange howls ripped through the silence of the night with a sudden violence that made me physically ache. I knew Jared´s howl was the loudest, and the saddest.

**Thanks for reading! I had so much fun writing this chapter. Stay tuned and the next chapter for my other story Love will tear us apart will be up in the next couple of days. Besos and have a great Holy Week. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11. Hope you all enjoy. I won´t be uploading for a while because I am going on holidays for Easter. A lot of food, church and sightseeing await me. Have fun over the holidays and happy reading. Remember to tell me what you think by way of a review. It shows me what I am doing right and what I need to improve. **

I didn´t sleep that whole night. No matter how much I willed my eyes to shut but they wouldn´t. What happened that night just kept on replaying in my mind´s eye. Jared morphing from wolf into man. What he showed me…. I didn´t imagine it but I wished so bad that it wasn´t true. That I didn´t see it. But what was seen couldn´t be unseen.

A horrible sadness consumed me, making me cry suddenly, making my heart ache. The sadness, it was not my own, it was something different. I knew by instinct it was his. It was Jared´s. I felt utterly wretched as dawn started to creep through my curtains and brighten my room. I knew that in a couple of hours my parents would be awake. I knew I would have to face what had happened.

I received no calls or messages from Jared since then. Yoli had called me and I told her I was fine. She was too drunk to question me more but when she does, what do I tell her? Do I even tell anyone? Could I tell anyone? Jared made me promise that I wouldn´t. But that was before he took advantage.

He knew. He had to have known about my feelings for him. He must have! He knew that I was in love with him. That I am in love with him. He had become what he had become and figured that I was dumb enough to be with him when no other sane girl would. He played on my feelings for him. There was no other explanation for why he choose to share his secret with me.

I lay on my stomach, exhaustion gripping me. Why did this have to happen to me? My head was pounding and I felt ill. Getting up I hobbled to my mirror and stared at my face. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot and my face was ashen, last nights makeup still smeared, making me look grotesque. I looked like I was dragged through a bush. My palms were still stinging and my knees were bruised.

Seeing that it was about six in the morning I decided to have a shower to calm myself down a little. To clear my head.

I turned the water onto almost scalding hot and scrubbed myself thoroughly. Adding some lavender oil to my sponge I breathed in its calming aroma. I still couldn´t shake the depression that was consuming me. The feeling that made me want to hop out of the shower and go find Jared and make him feel better. But I couldn´t. How could I face him again, knowing what he could turn into. Knowing his inherent danger.

His complete look of devastation still haunted me. What was I supposed to have done though? How was I supposed to have acted? He had put me into the most bizarre situation of my life. One that made me question everything that I had ever believed was possible. My eyes hadn´t played tricks with me. I wasn´t drunk and I so wasn´t tripping. I saw what I saw. And what I saw defied science. It defied logic. It defied the very rules of nature itself. But still….it had happened.

Should I try and find him? Should I try and make him explain more? Should I tell him to stay the hell away from me? But what if he murdered me to keep me quiet? The last thought was a logical one but one I knew to be false. Jared would never harm me. I knew he wouldn´t.

Making a very fast and completely stupid decision I got dressed and headed out in search of Jared. The cold morning air was strangely refreshing and faking confidence I set out towards his house.

Ten minutes into my walk I saw my uncle Harry´s truck in the distance going in the opposite direction to where I was walking. As he approached me he slowed down and looked a bit shocked, and very worried. He stopped his truck and got out. Shit! He´s so going to tell my parents. Quick Kimi, come up with a lie!

"Hi Uncle Harry."

"Kim. What are you doing out so early?" He questioned.

"I was going for a walk?"

"This early? Do your parents know?"

"Eh…." Say yes you fool! "No."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"You could never tell a convincing lie Kim."

"Where are you going?"

"To Emily´s house. To talk to Jared." He stared me straight in the eye.

"W-w-why? I´m mean…..Jared?" He gave me a sad smile and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I know Kim. I know about Jared. His secret. What he is. I know." And he was so calm too?

"Uncle Harry…I´m so scared." Thank God I could talk to him.

"I understand why you are but believe me, you have no reason to be. Jared will be the best protector you could ever ask for."

"You´re the second person who told me that."

"Who was the first?"

"Marcii Cameron."

"And you would doubt both your uncle and the mother of the shapeshifter."

"It´s just so…fucked up."

"Come on Kim. I´ll take you somewhere we can talk. The middle of the road is no place for this."

"Where to?"

"To get some breakfast. You look ill. I´ll explain what´s going on. Jared is too scared out of his wits to try and even come near you for the time being."

"He probably hates me." Why should I even care if he does? But of course that thought terrified me. I couldn´t lie to myself. I didn´t want him to hate me. Uncle Harry laughed and ushered me into the truck.

"Believe me Kim. Jared could never hate you."

"How do you know all this stuff?" He drove in the direction of the only diner on the rez.

"I´ll tell you some other time. I will only tell you some things. The other….Jared can tell you for himself."

"What do I have to do with all of this?"

"Jared will tell you."

"What if he doesn´t though?"

"He will. He can´t not tell you. Kim, I know that maybe he was acting strange with you. Acting like a man who has fallen crazily in love for no apparent reason. But there is a reason. A big one. One that only he can share with you. I will not tell you."

"Fine….so what exactly is he?"

"He´s a man. A man with a very special and powerful gift. He´s human Kim. But with just a couple of things extra."

"So why…why can he change into a wolf?"

"You know the stories."

"The whole Taha Aki thing? But that is just a story!"

"A true story. The wolves that can change today are the descendents of Taha Aki. The gift is passed through blood."

"That is difficult to believe."

"I know it is. But it´s the truth, no matter how fanciful it seems."

"So…Jared is a shapeshifter. Who takes the form of a wolf and is directly descended from Taha Aki."

"Correct."

"Are there any others?"

"Use your brain. Who do you think?"

"Sam Uley and Paul Lahote." It was so obvious.

"Yep. Quite a trio right?"

"Okay, so….why did they change? Is it that every person who is descended from Taha Aki a shapeshifter?"

"No. It doesn´t work that way. Listen Kim, I am going to tell you something that might scare you. That will scare you actually. I´m sorry honey."

"I think you should tell me. It can´t be any stranger than the rest."

"We think that the boys changing was triggered by the cold ones." He looked for my reaction. Driving slowly in case he thought I would freak out or something.

"Cold ones?" I didn´t know that much about them besides what was said about them in the legends.

"Vampires, in other words."

"Vampires?" I felt ill. This can´t be true.

"Yes Kim. Vampires." He pulled over and we sat in silence for a while. "Evil things exist in this world Kim. Things more hideous than murderers and rapists and pedophiles. Things that are more dangerous than what most people can ever even imagine. Things that our tribe knew of…that only a few of know now."

"And what role does Jared play in this."

"He is a protector. He keeps us safe. Keeps you safe. The natural enemy of the vampire."

"And he can kill them?"

"He can."

"And they can kill him too?" I was overcome with horror and fear.

"They could. But they won´t. Jared is strong. He has a big reason to stay alive Kim."

"What do I do Uncle Harry?"

"I can´t tell you what to do Kim. Follow your heart. Listen to what it tells you. Don´t doubt it if it feels true. Don´t hurt yourself by denying it."

"Am I a shapeshifter too?"

"No no no. Don´t worry. Girls don´t become wolves."

"Then what part do I have in this?"

"Jared will tell you."

"And the vampires? Are there lots of them?"

"No. But more than one is too much in my opinion. The ones that caused the change have left. For good I hope."

"And Jared can´t be normal again if they have?"

"No, he can´t. He is normal Kim. Flesh and blood. A beating heart. A man. Don´t judge him too harshly."

"I´m not judging him! It´s just a lot to take in."

"I understand. But Kim, I cannot stress how important it is that you keep this secret. We cannot risk what we are spreading. La Push must be kept safe. Do you understand?"

"I do. I won´t tell I promise."

"You are a good girl Kim. You always have been. And I am sorry that this has scared you."

"And….how is Jared?" I asked Uncle Harry.

"You tell me how he is." I knew how Jared felt. I could feel it.

"I dunno." I mumbled, feeling like I wanted to cry again.

"He is upset. Not at you, at himself. He had to show you, he had to tell you. According to Sam he´s in a pretty bad way. He never set out to hurt you Kim. He could never intentionally hurt you."

"I should talk to him."

"You should. But not now. Give yourself some time to get your mind around all this. Jared will wait."

"You´re sure this is safe?"

"I am Kim. I would never let anything hurt my favorite niece."

"Thanks Uncle Harry."

"I´ll take you home. Your parents will worry if they get up and you´re not home."

"They would kill me."

"Tell them you were dropping your friends keys back to her before you had to leave to see your dad´s folks."

"Good idea." I smiled weakly at him. He started the engine back up and drove me home.

"You should give yourself more credit Kimimela. You are a smart girl. A young woman I should say now. You are also stronger than you think. Don´t put yourself down and don´t feel that you are undeserving."

"I´ll try not to."

"That´s the first step." He pulled up in front of my house and I saw that the light in the kitchen and living room was on.

"I´ll come in with you and let me do all the talking okay."

"Okay."

We got out of the car and went inside.

"Kimi! Harry?" My mom came out of the kitchen wrapped in her dressing gown and clutching a cup of coffee. She kissed her brother on the cheek and looked confused. My dad came out of the kitchen by now with his brow furrowed.

"What are you doing out at this hour? Did you come home last night?" He questioned me.

"I did. Before my curfew." I said truthfully. He always thought I was up to something even when I wasn´t.

"I met Kim on the road. She was returning her friends car keys."

"Which friend?"

"Yoli. She gave me her keys to keep them safe. I left before her and I forgot I had them. I wanted to give them to her before we left for the Hoh rez."

"Okay Kimi. Go have some breakfast." My mom said, smiling at me.

"Okay mom. Thanks for the lift Uncle Harry."

"No problem Kimi. Remember what I told you." He smiled at me and I headed to the kitchen to eat something. I could stomach nothing more than dry toast and milk. I could hear my parents laugh at something that Uncle Harry said and a while later he left. Probably to see Jared. I could picture his face in my mind. His handsome face. His strong jaw. His full mouth. His beautiful dark eyes. And he was more than this. He was more than a normal eighteen year old.

"Kimi. You look sick." My mom startled me out of my thoughts. She must have seen something on my face. "What´s the matter?"

"Nothing. I just have a headache is all."

"Take some aspirin. You´re dad won´t let you out of going to see your grandparents today."

"I´m not trying to get out of it."

"Because you know that granny and grandpa are excited to see you and Josh." Enough with the guilt trip mom!

"I know. I´m going to get the paintings I made for them and put them in the car."

"Good girl Kimi. They love your paintings. That would make them so happy."

"I know mom."

As soon as I got to my bedroom I checked my cell for any messages or calls. Nothing. Nothing from Jared. Maybe it was better that I would be spending the day there away from all the crazy and with my grandparents and family. It would keep me distracted. I decided I would leave the cell here.

* * *

The drive to the Hoh rez was horrible. The rain was beating down and the sick feeling was getting worse. It was like some unseen force was tugging at my bellybutton and the tension increased every mile my dad drove away from La Push.

My grandparents house was as it always was. They were overjoyed with my paintings which my dad and grandpa immediately went about discussing where to hang them and making a big deal out of hammering in nails and hooks.

While Josh was watching TV and my mom, dad and grandpa went to the store to buy some dessert my grandma and I went into the kitchen and drank some tea.

"You look love sick my little butterfly."

"I am." I could talk to grandma freely. We were kindred spirits it felt like.

"The Jared boy you are in love with?"

"Yes."

"What happened Kimi?"

"He likes me back….I think." Grandma smiled at me and took my hand.

"I want to give you something, darling. Stay here." She left and then came back a couple of minutes later with something clutched in her hand.

"Here. This is for you." She dropped her old locket into my hand.

"Oh grandma! You don´t have to give me this." I loved this locket, and grandma had promised to give it to me when the time was right.

"It´s yours now. I want you to have it. It is a magical time when love touches your heart for the first time. Put this on and remember to always believe in love. There is nothing like it in the world."

"I´ll remember that. Thank you so much." I fingered the old gold chain and the blue and white rose cameo on the front of the oval locket.

"It was my grandmothers." She said fondly. "My grandfather fell in love with her and worked so hard to buy her this. It is his symbol of his undying love for her. Take care of it Kimimela."

"I will. I promise." I opened the locket and discovered that there were no pictures inside. "What happened to the photos?"

"I took them out. You can put your own in here. It´s yours now." She took the locket and fastened it around my neck. It hung between my cleavage. I fingered it again. "Keep the love in your heart."

"What if it´s not real grandma?"

"Then it´s not real. You have to live life Kimi. You have to open yourself up. You have so much love to give and the man who receives it is the luckiest man in the world. And if he loves you as you love him then it something to fight for."

The rest of the day passed at a snails pace and I felt my eyes growing heaving over lunch. My parents seriously reprimanded me for it until my grandparents told them to go and let me have a nap in my aunt´s old bedroom. I curled up under the blanket and let my sleepiness consume me.

It was an uncomfortable, fitful sleep filled with vivid dreams of wolves and shadow figures with red eyes. This disturbing dream slowly morphed into a replay of that history class. The noises, the smells, they were still the same. I was watching myself and Jared seated together. Me looking very uncomfortable scribbling away in my notebook and Jared looking pensive. I could see him casting me a glance every so often. When Vanessa would turn around and smile at him he would return it automatically and when she turned back around his face would instantly return glum. I watched as he stared out the window for a long time before ultimately watching my hunched figure write away. When he became aware of my awareness of him he cast his eyes back to his own work. This, like the other, melted away as I felt myself being shook awake.

"Time to go home Kim." My mom told me.

"But…what about dinner?" I said in a horrible, groggy voice.

"You slept through it. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah….I´m just tired." She felt my forehead and smoothed back my hair.

"Is it about Jared?"

"Kind of."

"Is he pressuring you?"

"No mom!"

"I don´t know what has happened to you. You were never this miserable before."

"I´m not miserable. Am I not allowed to be in a bad mood once in a while."

"Get your stuff and say goodbye to your grandparents." She said in a dangerous voice. I was so going to get an earful. Why couldn´t I catch a break once in a while?

Once we said our goodbyes to my grandparents we headed straight home. It was dark now, and the surrounding forest was even more ominous since Uncle Harry had shed light on the truth about the cold ones…the vampires. I still found that very hard to believe though. This has been like one big, surreal dream where everything seemed normal but was as weird as hell.

I began to get more and more agitated as we approached La Push. The gnawing feeling that came with it wouldn´t let me relax. It was telling me to go see the person that I needed to see but was too terrified to face. I had to see him. I needed to. I am the most pathetic, love sick, stupid, moronic, girl in the world. What I needed went against everything that I knew to be the logical course of action.

As soon as we got home I ran to my bedroom and checked if I had any messages from Jared. I didn´t. I bowed my head in disappointment. I shouldn´t have ran away from him last night, I should have listened to him. I ran away from him like a coward. He had shared with me the most important thing about him and I ran away. Shame and guilt battled inside of me and I formed a plan. A plan that would have to wait until my parents were asleep.

* * *

At about one in the morning I silently dressed and slipped out of my bedroom window and dashed towards the road, terrified that I would be seen. A strange sense of elation filled me with my little act of rebellion. I had never did this in my life. As soon as my house was out of sight and I was at the beach I took out my cell and sent Jared a message.

_"I hope you are awake. If you are meet me at first beach. I´m sorry and if you don´t want to see me I understand."_

I decided to give him an hour. If he didn´t come then….I would wait for another time. I clutched the locket and huddled into my scarf to protect my face against the cold.

Fifteen minutes passed without any message. Half an hour. Forty five minutes and still nothing. Maybe he was asleep? What I did was dumb anyway. When the hour passed I got up from the log I was sitting on stiff with cold and sadly made my way back home. The wind was howling horribly and it was so dark. The waves crashing were so loud. The only sound to be heard was the crashing of the waves.

I only walked about twenty feet before I made out a tall dark figure walking some distance in front of me. Shit…..was it him? Or was it some guy that was going to try and rape me? I had absolutely nothing on me that I could use as a weapon. Should I run into the woods?

But the figure stopped about thirty feet in front of me. It was him. I knew it. The weak light of the moon peaking out of the clouds illuminated his face and he wasn´t wearing a shirt.

"Jared." I whispered into the wind. He started to move towards me slowly.

"Kim! What….what are you doing here?" He seemed totally confused. Then I got confused.

"I-I-I sent you a message. To meet me here." I looked into his eyes, but it was really hard to see his expression.

"A message? I didn´t have my cell on me."

"Oh…..then…." I trailed off and looked down. He wasn´t wearing any shoes either.

"You shouldn´t be out here. You should go home." He told me, his voice hard. I bit my lip painfully and willed the tears back.

"I-I wanted to say I´m sorry." He didn´t answer me. "I am so sorry Jared." I continued, wishing he would say something to put me out of my misery. "I shouldn´t have ran away." I felt my emotions become overwhelming and the tears fell.

"Kim…..look into my eyes and say that. Let me see your face." I wiped my face and looked into his eyes.

"Please forgive me." I begged of him. He didn´t move. "I was scared. I didn´t know what else to do." He still said nothing. He made no move. "Please say something."

"What can I say Kim?" He said finally. "What can I say that won´t make you run away again?"

"You can say anything you want. Please don´t hate me."

"I could never hate you! How could you even think that? I can´t change what I am Kim! But if I could I would be the man that you want. A man that doesn´t repulse you."

"You don´t repulse me! I just didn´t know what you were."

"And now you do. Harry Clearwater told me that he talked to you. He told me that he explained everything. Well, almost everything."

"You could tell me the rest? If you want to. If….if you still trust me." With hesitance I reached out and touched his hand. He was on fire.

"You´re freezing." His huge hand gently took my own, applying very little pressure.

"You´re burning."

"I know."

"This past week has been the best of my life Jared. And if…if I never get to kiss you again then at least I can die happy having experienced it. And I´m…I´m afraid that no other man could ever live up to you. That I could never forget what you feel like."

"No other man would ever dare kiss you. Do you really think that I would stand by and let that happen Kim? As fucking horrible as it sounds, you belong to me. You belong with me. Like I belong only to you. If you never wanted to kiss me again then I understand, but that will never stop me from wanting your kisses, from wanting you. That will never die."

"How could you even want me after what I did?"

"You did nothing wrong Kim. Stop blaming yourself! Sure I was hurt when you reacted the way you did. Sure I was upset. But it was because I knew I went about it the wrong way. If there is even a right way to tell you that. But the thing is I should have waited. I had all the knowledge of what was going on. I should have known the consequences. When I looked at you in history….fuck…I would never forget it….you…Kimimela…your eyes…your face…your hair….just you….I wanted you on the spot and I didn´t want to wait. What happened….it´s called imprinting. Not like those fucking ducks Barnardo spieled on about in Biology. It is something way more beautiful….way more profound. When I looked at you….it happened. I found you. My soul mate. My spirit wife. My reason for living. It´s you Kimimela." He stepped in closer to me and was breathing heavily.

"What?" I couldn´t dare believe what he was telling me. My heart was pounding.

"When we change, there´s this thing that could happen when you look into the eyes of your soul mate for the first time. The imprinting. It was like I had always known it was you but was too blind to see it before. It has changed me."

"So you are forced to love me?"

"NO! Nothing can force love! Nothing can do that so don´t ever believe that! It just came in a rush. Like a big wave. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world."

"But…it sounds so…" I trailed off.

"Weird? Tell me, the love you feel for me. Does it feel fake? Does it feel forced?"

"No. Never."

"Then why can´t you believe that mine doesn´t?"

"Because it´s you."

"Because it´s me. I don´t know what I ever did in the past to be on the receiving end of your love but I can´t tell you how happy I am about it. I should be the one saying that you don´t love me."

"I could never stop. It´s just so much to take in."

"Then we take it slow. Step by step." He took both my hands and looked at my palms. "You´re hurt." He ran his thumbs over the scratches with a feather light touch. "When you fell over. My poor Kimi."

"I´m okay."

"How do you feel? I mean, now that you know about everything. Are you still scared?"

"Of the vampires, yes. That…I mean…" Jared picked me up and held me against him. He was trembling a little.

"Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever touch you or harm you. I promise you that. No stinking leech will ever come near you Kimi. I swear!"

"Thank you Jared. And what about you? What if you´re hurt?" I wrapped my arms around him tighter and held on to him.

"I won´t get hurt. I was built to destroy them."

"I don´t want you to get hurt. Promise me you won´t."

"I won´t." He nuzzled into my neck and breathed me in.

"And the imprint thing…."

"And the imprint thing….the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you Kimimela Carillo. Please believe me when I tell you this. I love you more than anything."

"You know I love you too." He held me tighter and he laughed in relief.

"You don´t know how happy you have made me. And you are going to find out how happy I am going to make you. I will make you the happiest girl in the world!" He spun me around until I was breathless with laughter.

We stayed on the beach for another hour until Jared insisted that I go home and sleep. He promised he would be waiting for me as soon as I woke up to walk to school with me. I didn´t want to leave him and I made such a big fuss until I saw his face fully illuminated under a street lamp. He had dark violet circles under his eyes and seemed like he hadn´t slept in years.

"When was the last time that you´ve slept?" I asked him.

"Not since Friday night."

"I´m so sorry." I whispered, biting my lip. He traced his thumbs under my eyes and kissed my forehead.

"Don´t be. I´ll sleep well tonight knowing that you are happy and that you finally know. You wouldn´t believe how nervous I´ve been about telling you since I first imprinted on you. I could hardly sleep."

"I wish I could stay with you." I didn´t know what way he took that.

"Me too. There is nothing more I would love than to curl up next to you and relax. And hold you." He said wistfully.

"Then….then sleep with me…I mean at mine." Jared smiled as I immediately went red cheeked.

"You really want me to? If your dad found out he would kill me and take you away, far, far away. He would place you in a tower with no door and I would have no way to get to you." I giggled and he smiled fondly.

"He would probably send me to live with my Aunt Jean in Montreal."

"I would follow you anywhere." He vowed. "Does your dad always snore like a bull from hell?" He picked up his head and made a strange face.

"How do you know that?"

"Super hearing. One of the many perks that comes with my job. Along with super sight, super smell, super strength, speed, agility, height, muscles…." He trailed off and smiled widely at my astonished expression.

"That is so cool…."

"It is."

"So that´s how you heard me listening to my music. It´s France Gall by the way. Not French Gall."

"I´ll remember that. Ella a, cette drole de joie, Ce deonne du ciel qui la rend belle." He was oddly bashful as he recited those couple of lines from the song. "This is my favorite song now. It reminds me of you."

"Thanks but it´s really about Ella Fitzgerald."

"I only think of you when I think of it."

"Come home with me." I asked him.

"I really want to."

"I want you to."

"I don´t want to push you."

"Am I pushing you?"

"Christ no. Are you really sure?"

"Yes. I can set my alarm and you can sneak out before anyone wakes up."

"Don´t worry about that. I´ll wake up before. I´ve always had an inbuilt alarm. Are you really sure?"

"Yes. If you don´t want to then it´s okay."

"Of course I want to. Come on. We have a long, horrible day of school tomorrow."

We crept silently to my house and to my bedroom window, which I had left open a crack to let myself back in.

"I´ll go first." Jared whispered, hopping in silently and with all the grace of a gymnast. What the hell? He then bent out the window and picked me up. Before I knew it I was inside Jared was pushing the window down.

"Are my parents awake?" I whispered.

"No. They are all sound asleep." He whispered back. Unsure of what to do I turned on the small reading lamp beside my bed for some light.

"I should get into my pjamas." Shit! Jared has nothing to wear!

"I´ll turn around." And he did that. As I silently got out of my clothes and scrambled into my pjamas suddenly felt very shy. Jared turned around slowly and ran his fingers through the length of my long hair.

"I need to go Kimi." He said quietly. I cast my eyes down in disappointment.

"Oh….I´m sorry." I pouted a little.

"Sam´s calling me." He clarified.

"The super hearing?"

"Yep. I shouldn´t be sleeping here anyway. However much I want to be."

"But I want you to."

"I respect you too much. I promised I wouldn´t push you into anything."

"But that doesn´t mean we are…you know…" A surge of different feelings ran through me. Excitement. Fear. Lust. Shyness.

"I know myself Kimi. Being in bed with you will ultimately lead to one thing that I´m positive you are not ready for. I want to get to know you first. I want you one hundred percent comfortable with me before that happens."

"But I am."

"You´re not. I´ll be here tomorrow morning waiting for you." He ran his fingers under my eyes. "You are beautiful you know that? I love your eyes. I love everything about you."

"I´ll be waiting here for you." I told him. He gave me a half smile and nodded.

"Sleep Kimi. You need it."

"You too Jared."

"I´ll try. Goodnight."

"Night."

He hopped out the window and I could see him dart extremely fast into the woods. Shutting the window and closing my curtains I lay down in bed and thought about everything that had happened today. Now I felt a bit a peace.

**Remember to review and tell me what you think. Besos.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Sorry for the long wait. Have a lot of work and a lot of things going on now that need a lot of attention. I am not finished with this story nor my others. Hope you all enjoy and tell me what you thinks. Have fun and happy reading. Besos.**

Lifting a heavy, sleep filled eyelid I reflected that I needed much more sleep than my alarm would allow. Then I realized that I had a really big reason to get up. Jared…..

I turned off the alarm and threw myself out of bed with an energy that I never knew I could muster up at this hour in the morning. I let out a shaky breath and stood in the middle of my room trying to register what had really happened last night.

Jared is a shapeshifting, Quileute protector. He wasn´t dangerous. And….and he loved me…the imprinting thing. We were soulmates. I told him that I loved him and he didn´t laugh at me. He returned it. And I asked him to stay with me last night…..I cringed as that memory came flooding into my mind. I must have seemed like the biggest dork in the world to him.

Was this really happening? I mean…..have I gone nuts and imagined it? I couldn´t have. I know I haven´t. Wasting no time I went straight to the bathroom to shower and leave before my parents could see something was up with me. If Jared were to come to the house a second time to walk me to school they would be watching me like a hawk. After I got dressed I quickly grabbed a banana from the kitchen and tried to flee before they could ask any questions.

"Kimi! Where are you going?" My mom yelled after me, stopping me in my tracks in the doorway. Think Kim think!

"I need to get to school early to put together my history project with my partner." Nice Kim. Really nice.

"A banana is not breakfast."

"I´m fine mom."

"And you forgot your lunch." She handed me my Tupperware box which I shoved hastily into my school bag.

"Thanks mom. Love you." I kissed her on the cheek.

"Can you not wait fifteen more minutes for Josh?"

"Sorry mom. I really need to get this done. See you later."

"Bye then. Love you too sweetie."

That was easier than I had expected. I fast walked until my house was out of sight then stopped and took out my cell. While I was in the middle of writing Jared a message his voice sounded behind me.

"What are you doing out with wet hair?" I jumped a foot in surprise and turned to see him trying not to laugh.

"You scared me." I said in a strange, breathy voice. He was instantly apologetic.

"Sorry Kim. I thought I was going to meet you at yours."

"I just wanted to get out of the house a bit earlier."

"Why?" He was probing, and it was uncomfortable.

"To see you." I answered quietly. He smiled faintly and ran a hand down my still wet hair.

"You´ll catch cold like that." He adjusted my scarf and coat around my neck until he was satisfied that I was warm. "Perfect." He smiled at me again and I felt my old bashfulness returning.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"Still shy?" He asked, stepping in closer to me. "After everything?" He wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him. He was so warm. It felt wonderful.

"I can´t help it." I giggled at my own idiocy. "How are you?" I asked him. I have always ached for the chance to speak with him in the past, to get to know him, and now that I had the chance, I was going to use it.

"Great. Perfect actually." He beamed down at me, showing me his perfectly white teeth.

"Yeah?"

"Yep."

"And….what did you do last night? After Sam….called you?" I didn´t really know what verb to use for whatever mind link or superhearing thing they had going on.

"Had a meeting then patrolled for an hour then went to bed."

"So Sam is like….the leader or something?" Jared nodded.

"He´s the Alpha. I´m the Beta." I nodded, trying to get an understanding on what he was telling me. "Well, he will be until Jacob changes."

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" Jacob was a goofy sixteen year old from a grade below us. For some reason I just couldn´t imagine him leading a pack of shapeshifters.

"The one and only. The only male in the Black line. Direct male that is. That´s where I get my genes from too, but from my mothers side."

"And why is the Black line so important?"

"Because they were our Chiefs. In the past anyway. So I suppose we need to stick with that rule." Jared didn´t really seem like he wanted to be talking about those things with me. I swallowed the million and one questions I was bursting to ask and just nodded.

"Emm…your mom sort of invited me for dinner at your house tonight.."

"Yeah, she told me. Sorry if she corned you into it. You don´t have to if you don´t want to." I knew it was important for him that I went tonight. That he really wanted me there. I took his hand and tugged a little and we headed towards school.

"I want to go. If you want me to I mean…"

"Yeah I want you to Kimi. I want my folks to meet my wonderful imprint." I don´t really know if I liked the term imprint. It seemed so….scientific or something. Like I was just some sort of mate.

"I´ve met your parents before Jared. Lots of times." I reminded him.

"Yeah but not like this you haven´t. You´ll have fun. I promise. They are flipping out they are so excited."

"Oh my God." I went red faced.

"Hey! They don´t bite. Like you´ve said. You´ve met them before. It will be a piece of cake. How do you think I feel having to face your dad? He´s scarier than Sam but minus the superpowers."

"My dad is….my dad. I know he comes across as over protective but he´s just looking out for me."

"I know."

"Are you…still mad at me about…how I reacted? Before you know?" I bit my lip and forced myself to look into his eyes.

"No." He shook his head. "Of course not." He was being serious. He was also being careful around me. He wasn´t angry. He was hesitant. And I didn´t blame him. "How do you feel now? Now that you´ve had some time to get your head around everything."

"Okay. It´s still…" I struggled to find the right words. Jared looked a bit afraid. "..all so new. I would never have guessed in a million years that you are a living legend."

"A living legend that´s in love with you." He added. I felt my whole body tingle with his words.

"That neither."

We were silent for a while before I broke out into nervous giggles. Jared smiled fondly at me.

"What´s so funny?"

"I think that that is even stranger than you going against all the laws of nature in terms of being a wolf."

"You are more afraid of my love than my superpowers?"

"I´m not afraid of…your love."

"You don´t believe it or you are having a hard time believing it. I get it. Don´t worry. I will never give up." He promised and then said no more on the topic. "I finished with my part of the history project. We can put it together and then come up with the end bit."

"Great. Last time I was paired up with Danny Hernandez. I had to do everything." I laughed at the memory.

"Why did you do everything?" Jared asked, a bit confused. His brows were knit together as he looked down at me.

"You know Danny." I started. "I think he has it tough at home or something." I mumbled. Jared let out a bark of laughter.

"Danny doesn´t have anything tough. He´s just not interested in school and will try and copy off anyone who would let him. Don´t let him fool you Kim. Like in Biology that day when you let him copy your answers."

"I was just helping him out!" I pouted.

"I know. Just….I dunno…you are so nice. Certain people could see that and try to take advantage of it. When I see it I have a hard time not getting in their faces."

"When did you see it before?" I asked. Was that true?

"That time in Biology. Before as well. The imprinting I mean. Your friend Saffron bosses you around. Always has."

"Saffron doesn´t boss me around Jared!" Not that much anyway. Not now. When we were younger yes but….I frowned.

"Oh really? Who threatened that her night would be ruined if you didn´t wear those sexy stockings to a certain Hallow´een party?"

"C´mon Jared. Please. She´s my friend."

"Sorry." He said after he huffed out a deep breath. "I´m just looking out for you."

"Forget it and….thanks. I know I shouldn´t let people copy off me and stuff. I am working on it."

"Good. And I am working on being nicer. I don´t want you to think I´m some mean jerk."

"I never thought you were."

"Thanks for that Kimi. So…."

"So….?"

"Do I get to take you out again?"

"I would like that."

"Great! Now that there nothing to hide we can start this properly." He was more easy going now. It did seem like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was more relaxed around me than before.

"What do you want to do?"

"For our date? I was thinking that I could take you out to dinner and then back here to take a walk and stuff. Since you have that curfew, you know."

"That sounds lovely."

"If you want to do something different that´s fine by me. I have to know what my girlfriend likes and all." Did he really just call me his girlfriend? I felt like my heart had leapt up into my throat. "If you want to see a movie or visit somewhere we can do that. And when you turn eighteen we can go on a trip during the weekend somewhere. I kinda have the inkling that you are the sort of girl who wants to see the world." I had barely registered what he had said after he had called me his girlfriend. I forced out some more nervous giggles and he chuckled in a confused sort of way. "What did I say?"

"We…I…I´m your girlfriend now?" He stopped in his tracks which made me stop since we were holding hands. I hadn´t noticed that….

"Well….I thought after last night….after everything that I said….what we told each other…that this was…you know….kinda serious?" I nodded dumbly and he frowned and then it seemed that he came to some type of realization by the look in his eyes. "Do..do you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Yes. I want to." I whispered, totally freaked out.

"Did you ever…." He stopped himself and bit his lip. "Are you sure. If you want some more time to think about it then that is totally fine by me."

"I…no…I want to be your girlfriend…if you want…." I was getting nervous now. I knew I sounded like a dorky little girl but…..eurgghhh Kimi! Can´t you be cool for once?

"There is nothing I want more." He held me close to him again. "And you´re cool with that? You want to go out with me? You can say no."

"I said yes. I know…I know I sound a bit…" I rolled my eyes but forced myself to continue. "dorky sometimes…a lot of the time but….this is the first time a guy has said these things to me and….when it´s coming from you…you get what I´m saying?" I grimaced but held eye contact.

"I get it. And you don´t sound dorky. You sound sweet. I know I can come across as pushy, I´m working on it, but you need to know that I am one hundred percent serious about you."

"And me too. And you´re not that pushy." I smiled up at him. His eyes were soft and sweet as he looked back at me. "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." I blurted out before I even had to think about what I was saying. Jared looked delighted.

"That´s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks Kim. But you are the one with the most beautiful eyes ever. I love your eyes." He dipped his head and placed a tender kiss on my lips. Oh man…..that has to be the best feeling in the world. I moaned softly in pleasure as his tongue met my own. Jared, it seemed, noticed this, by the faint groan that escaped him, but he didn´t intensify the kiss like he had done so before, like I wanted him to do. One of his large hands wove around my waist while his free hand came up and gently cupped my face.

The kiss was sweet. And amazing. It was slow and tender. Bringing my hands up from Jared´s waist I copied him and held his face in my hands. His skin was so smooth there, so warm.

Eventually he broke away and rested his forehead against mine. His eyes were still closed when I looked at him. His look of pure contentment made my heart ache. I love him. I love him so much. And if a kiss from me could make him look that happy then I was happy. He could kiss me whenever he wanted, I would give him whatever he wanted. He breathed in deeply and smiled. His eyes opening and meeting my own now.

"Sometimes I have a hard time believing that you are real." He began, being completely serious. "It´s like you are some sort of perfect dream. The most beautiful and wonderful feeling in the world in the form of you. I could have never in a million years have even dreamt that a feeling like this was even possible. Like before, I could only see certain things, but the veil has been lifted." His black eyes roamed my face. The intensity and honesty of his words left me speechless. He was describing exactly how I felt about him, but better. I could never really put into words, properly, the depth of my love for him. And Jared being Jared, just did it perfectly. "When it happened, I knew it had always been there. In the back of my head. And me never paying you much attention before, was a way of me not hurting you, because I could never hurt you. Don´t be afraid of me Kimimela. I love you."

I swallowed a painful lump down my throat and willed back the tears. Taking a steadying breath I nodded.

"You have to do everything perfect, don´t you?" Confusion was etched on his face. "I wish I could say things as perfect as you can, but I can´t. Please don´t think that….because I stutter and get nervous that I don´t feel the same way. I can´t help that I´m scared. But I said I love you before. I have loved since forever. Since I was old enough to know what love is." I bit my lip but still, I held his gaze. "This, everything, it´s perfect. What you are doing is perfect, what you are saying is perfect. You can´t imagine how happy you are making me. But you need to understand that this is all new for me. I have never had a boyfriend. I have never really kissed anyone before you. If you give me time it will come as naturally to me as it is for you."

"All the time you need." He smiled. "I don´t want to rush anything. So tell me if I am."

"I will."

"And…you want to be my girlfriend?"

"Yes." I laughed. He looked like he might burst for happiness.

"I am so fucking lucky!" He picked me up easily and held me against him, wrapping his arms around my back just under my backpack. "You are mine now." He said in a mock scary voice which made me giggle. "My precious." Imitating Gollum now. I laughed fully.

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